Stories of Kindness from Around the World

In two days, my grandma will celebrate her 80th birthday. The joyful occasion has brought together all her four children and four grandchildren from around the country/world, for the first time in over 25 years. To honor her, and as the oldest grandchild, I am inviting my cousins to co-create a hand-written letter to grandma, listing ten of her virtues which we are grateful for and hope to carry on. We will read out the surprise letter at her birthday meal :)

-----

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

- T. S. Eliot, Little Giddin

Today's prompt brings to mind two "lineages" I am learning to honor: ancestors, and homeland.

After two years of journeying around the globe, and staying with hundreds of families from different cultures, I have come to realize how fortunate my family is. "Fortunate" in the sense that all four grandparents and their children are alive, healthy and relatively happy. No one has died prematurely or have cancer. No one is disabled, addicted, imprisoned, or engaged in "wrong livelihood". It sounds like a low bar, but I have seen very few families who are lucky enough to be just "normal".

And I have come to realize that the source of our good fortune is the simple yet precious virtues of my grandparents, which come down from generations before them. Just today, my 84-year-young grandpa observed, "For as far back as we can recall, our ancestors have never committed evil."

My four grandparents are "ordinary" by worldly standards. They come from simple background, and live by down-to-earth values: don't do any harm; wherever possible, help others. They have good habits in life: moderation, frugality, integrity. These simple virtues are their greatest legacy and my richest inheritance. It is due to their merits and virtues that their children and grandchildren have stayed safe over the years.

For example. My paternal grandfather is a hardworking engineer and a kind colleague. He dedicated his whole life to building up a shattered country that he had little time for family. But due to his virtues, he is well respected by the whole factory and neighborhood. The goodwill is extended toward my grandma and her four children. Even during the tumultuous years of the Cultural Revolution (where many people were persecuted or even killed), my grandpa's merits have been the invisible shield for the whole family. They passed through the storm more or less unharmed. Even today, when I am introduced as my grandpa's grandson, the neighbors will give an automatic thumb-up.

Over the past two years, I have never experienced any physical harm or ill will -- not even a flat tire! I don't know how the causes and conditions travel, but I know it is the protection of the ancestors and the prayer of friends that keep a pilgrim safe. One could only wish to cultivate the same simple virtues within himself to pay forward the gifts from the ancestors.

Grandparents' youthful "heart" at age 80+

The other lineage is the "homeland": the culture, land, and people that have raised me. This is not a patriotism of the nation-state zero-sum game, but a natural gratitude that wells up in the heart of someone who has been away from home for a decade.

Chinese civilization is among the very few continuous cultures that has endured over the millennia. The global pilgrimage has deepened my appreciation for what my own culture has to offer for the future of human unity. The journey has assured me that there's no need to look elsewhere, or to run far away for opportunities or salvation. All the problems and solutions are available at home :) The journey has finally slowed down the youthful haste, and dispelled the illusion that "the grass might be greener on the other side." It has given me the humility to accept that the Work is right here at home.

It has also made me realize that there is nothing "inherently Chinese" or exclusive about the "Chinese civilization". A civilization is a living evolution, a permeable and transient organism. For example, Buddhism from the West and the nomads from the North have both greatly influenced the fate of the "Middle Kingdom". I am only "Chinese" in this lifetime, under the convention of borders and nationalities. "China" is the base from which I could serve the universal good, together with our global siblings. As a sign on the wall of Gandhi Ashram says, "Serve locally, love globally." This is perhaps the best way to honor the roots of my homeland.