The unfolding urgent and cumulative circumstances of late required me to re-evaluate an agreement I had made, one that is transactional, in learning and in an exchange of money and time...and on my way today, having made it to a 6:30 meditation, connected at a local juicebar apothecary place and even after filling up on the groceries and putting them away...after being in peace with the agreements I had made and on my way, I realized I hadn't brought water for myself.
In the doingness I had forgotten the most sustaining, basic, important piece of the exchange today. I forgot that my body requires to work, requires rest, food, crying, laughing, release and renewals. And I realized that I had set myself up instinctually to disallow the workshop for myself today, to force myself to sit alone for a time, with The Notebook on VHI and all the commercials and just be in this place at this time. I realized that I am blessed with the nervous system that is working in relationship with all that is in my perception and experience. I ate. I am going for a walk. And I cried, for a minute or two. And maybe as things in my sphere change I will cry more and change more with them, and as I write this I know I will...do what was my act of kindness then? Was it stopping to listen to a person worried for her boyfriend? Was it helping an elderly woman be heard at the deli counter? Maybe it was showing up to the workshop with my portion of the collaborative lunch, not interrupting sacred work with inability and creating stronger connections in mutual understanding and reverence. Maybe it was showing up at 6:30 in the city, to hold space in peace, comfort and joy of collective intentions? I'm Grateful not to worry about how or why or whatever but certain that compassion for myself and others is what's up, with thanks always to all we are switching it all on for kindness
