Stories of Kindness from Around the World

2:20


--by DotMatrix, posted Jan 20, 2018

A few day ago, something very difficult happened in my life that hit me hard. I had a very tough time dealing with it.

I knew immediately how damaging the emotion of holding it would be in my body, so I let it go. I have become very good at this. Pain comes, I don't fight it. I just show it the door. I have to do this dozens of times a day.

What I learned from *this* pain, however, was how deeply this person still impacted me. They recently did something so inappropriate and unexplainable that I still can't get my head around it. But why should this impact *me*? I wondered.

I very quickly realized it was fear. Not just any fear. This was THE fear, the root of everything that has kept me trapped for more than half my life. It began when this person began making death threats against me in vivid detail. He knew people who could dispose of my body. He would make sure he was never blamed. This began when I was 25 and ended when I met my husband, 14 years later.

Even after that, some part of me still believed he would carry out his threats. I believed there was a bullseye on my forehead. I believed it was a beacon to any evil in the area who could be bought with this man's vast resources. This man had vowed to destroy my life. He had used those resources to systematically do so for two decades.

So even after I was safe, I still believed that if I stepped out the door, his assassins would spring from the shadows and kill me. Of course, I didn't realize I believed this. Not until three days ago . Awareness is EVERYTHING. This was a *root* fear, and I uncovered it. I faced it, pointed at it and said, "You are false." Its power over me began to fade right then and there.

This bullseye isn't painted on me with permanent ink. This was painted by someone with a vendetta, but it is his, not mine. I don't have to wear it any more. He can still, if he chooses, hurt me, but I cannot give any more attention to what he might do. He has taken enough from me already because I allowed him to.

The steel bars made of smoke, I know now, are made with smoke he blew. And although I have experienced the fallout of his threats made good, I cannot let fear take any more from me. It has taken 32 years of my life. This is not my bullseye. This is not my smoke.

I am free.



999 Reads
  • Posted by DotMatrix
  • Jan 20, 2018
  • 16 Smiles, 3 Comments



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