Day 10: Best Advice - People (including myself) often go into therapy thinking that the sessions and the work will mostly be about all the other people in your life, past and present, who have caused you pain and suffering. But, guess what, if you have a really good and caring and capable therapist most of the work ends up being about you! And that's why a lot of folks quit and don't continue to see it through and don't begin to heal. This great advice came only a few years ago from my therapist who is amazing and wonderful and now a dear friend. She simply said, "We're going to work on you being able to accept that your brokenness is part of your wholeness. It has helped guide you to where you are right now. Without it you wouldn't be the amazing person that you." She went on to say that we can't change the brokenness, but we can work together to explore what may have caused it and heal what we can and then accept that you are a whole and worthy person, even with what you perceive to be many flaws. That one session, though I was to have many more, was absolutely transformational!! I was living all my life thinking that I had to be perfect, feel happy all the time, and make everyone else happy, too. When she talked about my brokenness in a way that made it acceptable and part of who I was, it completely changed my outlook and expectations on myself. I've been in the process of healing ever since. It's like those often quoted, but oh, so true words:
"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything. That's how the Light gets in." ~ Leonard Cohen
So, my friends, honor those cracks, the chinks in your armor, they are what make you whole. They make you real. Blessings, kjoyw
