Stories of Kindness from Around the World

Hard Lesson From An Unlikely Teacher


--by ferris150142, posted Nov 20, 2008

 

   In what now seems like many incarnations ago I was waiting in Bonn Square, Oxford, England, for my wife to return from shopping.  We had an agreement that she would go to the shops while I would browse the wonderful bookstores in the centre of Oxford.  Then at 5 o’clock we’d meet in Bonn Square for a coffee – an arrangement that allowed us to do what we both liked doing best. 

 

   On this particular day she was 25 minutes late.  I was beginning to shiver in the crisp November air.  I scanned the square for something to take my mind off my frustration.  My attention was drawn to three people sitting on a bench about 50 feet away.  Two men and a woman.  The men looked as though they were far gone into an alcoholic haze.  Probably, I thought, the three of them were from the homeless person’s hostel.  At the feet of the men were empty quart cider bottles.  The woman seemed to be less clouded by alcohol than the men. 

 

   I tried not to stare at her as she began to glance towards me, as though sizing me up in some way.

 

   Moments later, she stood up and made her way unsteadily toward me.  As she approached I noticed that she was dressed in a denim pants suit.  Crumpled, but not the usual outfit for a bag lady.  It crossed my mind quickly that she must be cold in that light cotton jacket.

 

   She stood for a few moments in front of me looking at my face, as though she couldn’t make up her mind whether I was a soft touch or not.  Our eyes met.  I was surprised by the twinkle in her eyes.  About 50, grey haired, she could have been pretty when she was younger.

 

   “Sir,” she said, catching my attention.  The last person who called me sir was a shoe salesman.  “Sir, would ye be doin’ me a favour?  Would ye be givin’ a poor old lady somethin’ for a meal.  Just the price of a meal is all I’m askin’, sir!  I’m starvin’!  Truly, I am, sir!  A pound or two is all I’m askin’.”  Her accent was strongly Irish.  I thought, What she wants is money to buy some more cider.  So I just laughed good-naturedly and said No.  She hesitated, as though trying to figure out why this soft touch was being so reluctant to put hand in pocket.  Should she persevere?  Would a second try get results?  I noticed the twinkle was still there.  But after a moment she decided that I was probably too young to be generous, so she raised an eyebrow and asked, “There’s no hard feelin’s, is there, sir?”  I laughed again and said No, of course not. 

 

   She held out a bony hand.  It was pink with cold and not very clean. 

   

   “Sir, would ye be shakin’ my hand?  I know a gentleman when I see one.  Would ye be shakin’ my hand, sir?”

 

   I looked at her for a long moment.  To this day I don’t know why I said "no." 

 

Suddenly the sparkle went out of her eyes.  In its place was infinite sadness.  She yelled an insult at me as she stumbled back to the bench.  Her face had a stricken look.

 

At that moment I knew that I had committed something like a crime against humanity.  Choking on my foolishness, I walked over to the other side of Bonn Square and pretended to study the expensive watches in a shop window.  What was the matter with me?  Was I frightened that passers-by would laugh at me for shaking hands with a bag lady?  All the woman wanted was a bit of human contact and I had denied it to her.  I decided to go back and apologize.  Maybe give her some money. But she was gone.

 

   I never saw her again, although every time I passed through Bonn Square, for months afterwards, I glanced around to see if she was there.

 

  Years later I came across the idea in some book on new age philosophy that there are many highly evolved beings among us, helping and teaching us, but unrecognised for what they are because they don’t conform to our idea of what a highly evolved being should look like.

 

   Like a bag lady?

 

   I don’t know.  But I do know that a certain bag lady once taught a young man a lesson he never forgot about things like pride, arrogance and compassion.  

  

 

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Readers Comments

guin wrote: I loved that story. Thank you. It reminds me of days where i have acted in the same way.
Ashutosh wrote: Great story! Thanks for posting this. This will help many people to take decision in such a misguiding situation. This story says about your innocence.
Tigerlily wrote: Oh wow. Very painful. Perhaps the remorse that you have felt by denying the opportunity to help an angel unawares...
Bless you for you have learned your lesson well.
AURELIA wrote: What a great Story. Thanks for sharing it with us. Some times we identify ourselves as something we are not. If you had shook her hand, would you have been the giver or the reciever. I bet you would have felt wonderful if you had shook it. We all learn something new every day and what a wonderful lesson you learned that day! :0) ~Aurelia
wayfarer wrote: I used to ask my kids (jokingly), "What's it all about?" Not expecting an answer. Then I read somewhere that we are here to learn to love. Now I tell them that learning to love is what it's all about. Seems to me, Ferris, that you are an excellent student.
MakeSomeoneSmile wrote: What a tough lesson but it least you learned something from this experience. You also provided a great reminder to us all!
JuneBug wrote: Such an intense story....Thank you for posting it! :}
liztree wrote: How blessed you were to be given the gift of this profound lesson so early in life!

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