Have you ever had someone tell you, "I know exactly how you feel"? Or, have you ever said that very thing to someone else?
A friend recently lost his job -- to what, in today's business world, is commonly referred to as "restructuring." Others call it for what it often is -- out with the old, in with the new. He was devastated. He loved his job. He was doing what he felt called to do. He was being compensated appropriately for his time and skills. And he's four years away from retirement.
Speaking with him at a local café yesterday, he was sharing his sense of loss, describing his disappointment, anger, frustration, and fear. As we spoke, an acquaintance of his approached our table and, though not invited to do so, sat down to join us. Within seconds of comprehending what my friend and I were discussing, he blurted out, "I know exactly how you feel." With hearing this, I cringed. This acquaintance of my friend is in his late 30s. He is, apparently, quite successful in sales. I wondered how he could really understand what my friend, whose life has been shattered into little pieces, is truly feeling.
I realized empathetic listening can often be done without words, especially words which minimize the validity of the other person's pain.
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- Posted by kmc_sjc
- May 21, 2016
- Comments (8)
Readers Comments
patjos wrote: that we are silently there for people when it really matters, as you were in the midst of this event yesterday
Mish wrote: Ouch!!! 4 years away from retirement. How cruel . Your graphic so fits your share. Perhaps the other person truly felt for your friend & just blurted that out. Light for your friend to navigate this unexpected change & find peace and a new path that will bating him content.
marleen wrote: Lovely!! ðŸ™
splain wrote: That is a tough call for your friend. We often say things with a good heart but not necessarily the right words.
mindyjourney wrote: Love the graphic here <3, so goes with the post :)). It's true, the best we can do is listen and be there for friend...no one really knows what another is going thru. From each perspective we can be supportive, that's about as close as we can get. Blessings for your friend going thru such a 'restructuring."
leoladyc728 wrote: I too feel so bad for your friend when he was so close to retirement. I pray that he finds something to compete the years he needs and to make him happy.
Seesee wrote: Some Times it can be a " Blessing " even though its pretty rough at the Time when it hits YOU out of theBLUE. Hang in there & GIVE it all YOU GOT & " THIS TOO SHALL PASS "
virgtom08 wrote: Grinning at the doggie picture. It is a matter of perception how we look at the events of life. May your friend find something better to occupy his time and bring in money. I can empathize - had a hard time finding work after age 50! Took Social Security at 62 and have been enjoying life even more.
