''I need a girdle'' I said to my husband as we watched a young pretty lady walk across the television screen..''No, you don't..''was his reply. Next day we were out shopping and looking at girdles. Yes, I got my way...''Why do you think they put them way in the back?'' I asked him after a long search in the lingerie department...''Ricky?'' He was hunkered down....''C'mom..Help me? which one should I get? The one with the brazirre top and waist or the one with the bottom and waist?'' Looking at the price tag, he chose the later.{That's a man for ya!) ''and why is that?'' I asked feeling insulted.''Are you implying I have big hips,mister?''....He muttered a faint ''no''..
So today after my shower, I put my baby oil on to make my skin baby soft. I try to pull the girdle up thinking how shapely I am gonna be...Well, once I pry it on!!! Finally it slides up from all the baby oil and I smack myself in the face...That's okay. I might have a black eye, but I will have my shapely figure. ..I put the rest of my clothes on and look in the mirror. Hmmmm...not bad, but my lumps seemed to have just moved around to another location in my body!! I sucked in my stomach and went to show Ricky he did not waste his money. ''Well...''I said turning blue from holding my breath,''How do I look?'' ''Like one of those skinny young girls that walk across the screen of the television'' he said without looking at me. Hmph!.....Door bell rings. It's my daughter and grandbaby! This will be the true test...''What do you think of my new shape? I got a girdle!'' ''Looks the same to me..'' she said. Now what does THAT mean???? nothing changed or did she already think I had a shapely figure like the young girl that walked across the screen of the television? ..Something tells me it was my first guess....I strut around holding my breath trying to convince myself I had to look better to them..After a while my legs were beginning to feel chapped . ''Why are you walking like Frankenstein,Gramma? That's funny!'' said my grand-daughter ''And your face is turning BLUE!'' THAT'S IT! ..I was gonna blow my top when I felt the strong urge to pee.. I ran to the bathroom in Frankenstein form hearing my grand-daughter laughing hesterically ...I tried to peel and peel the girdle off , sweating like mouse surrounded by cats....At last I was FREE!!!! and all the buldges found their usual position....Ya know, some things are just not meant to be!!!! :)
