While driving, today I passed a man holding a sign, begging for donations. I had two dollars in my wallet. I decided I wasn't going to give because money is so tight right now.
Then, it felt wrong of me not to give, so I decided to give him half of what I had. I rolled down my window and handed him one dollar. He said, "God Bless You!" and I said, "You too." It was not a full exchange.
As I drove away, I wished I spoken more to him, and I wished I had given him all that I had, but instead I was too afraid to give more of myself.
Driving home I wondered if I had neglected a powerful universal law, the law of giving from my heart instead of my head, a law that perhaps creates boomerangs of abundance?! By not giving it all from my heart, perhaps I had blocked what I need to receive right now ?!
I don't feel guilty, but I do feel sadness in my heart over my choice. My giving was from my head, not my heart. Next time I hope I give it all.
Not that giving him both of my dollars would have necessarily meant twice as much to him, but that my not giving him my everything is not my truth and not the world I want to live in.
I want to find courage and conviction to give it all. But how do I do that in a world where I need money to buy my own children food and clothes, and Christmas presents, and socks, and toilet paper, and Milk Duds?!
I'm trying. I feel badly that I didn't give all that I could. (But that other dollar I didn't give him DID allow me to buy the Milk Duds for my daughter's teacher... another act of kindness.)
I still have .82 cents in my purse. To quote Scarlet O'Hara from Gone with the Wind... "Tomorrow is another day!"
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- Posted by penny4them
- Dec 18, 2015
- Comments (14)
Readers Comments
bountiful wrote: you did a lovely gift of giving..and yes tomorrow is another day ::))
AndiCas wrote: I think it's marvellous that you are having this dialogue with yourself and with us. Thankyou.
AndiCas wrote: Some years ago I made a decision which meant I deliberately choose to live on a very low / patchy income. I find it really hard to express what I'm trying to say now without sounding preachy, and that's not what I mean to do at all so bear with me! We get to the stage regularly when we're down to pennies in my purse, but when I stopped worrying about that I discovered that it always works itself out. If I have money, it's more than someone else has, and it will be replaced sooner or later. Love to you, and to your generous giving <3
splain wrote: To give half of what you have is lovely. help him and yourself. Both are great.
mish wrote: Don't be so hard on yourself, my kindness friend. You have a beautiful giving heart. Balance in all things. You did good x
terre wrote: Interesting dialogue. You gave what you felt you could at the time. This is not a bad thing. If you truly think you should give more, I know you'll have other chances. Just be open to whatever comes your way. I think you've done quite well.
penny4them wrote: Thank you friends. Comforting words. thank you for letting me share my duality, and my aspirations to be what I wish to see in the world. <3
savraj wrote: What you did was wonderful. Sometimes You must be practical as well right? Hey and don't worry many more opportunities will come along. You did a great thing. ✨
mindyjourney wrote: Be confident in your kindness, my friend...
gilbert100 wrote: There is nothing more precious than the sharing of ourselves. Money can be spent but personal interactions can last a lifetime in our memories and hearts. Recognition can validate a person's existence and make their day-often prompting thoughts of the possibilities in life and a possible re-awakening of the spirit. It's nice to give money to the needy but it's even better to talk to someone and make them feel like a friend and that they matter.
