I had a phone call from one of my best friend's husband asking for my help with my friend, his wife. She has had a tough time lately and has issues stemming from an abusive childhood. Now that she is a mother herself, some of the issues are arising again, and she is having a hard time coping.
It's hard to know what to do. I'm not a trained counselor or psychologist, but I am a good listener and friend. I went around to their house today, after a text message saying "No, I don't want visitors." I brought with me a big bunch of flowers (to leave on the door step if necessary) and was greeted by a teary friend. I thought of others here who have helped friends struggling with depression, and I asked if I could do anything. I just got a 'no,' so I played with the baby and gently asked a few questions.
I persuaded my friend to leave the house and bring the baby, and we headed out for lunch. Blessedly, she really did perk up. I suggested a few things, like seeing her doctor or a therapist we both know through work, and I left it at that. I phoned her husband who thanked me and said that the group of friends we are part of, are like family to them. For me, I felt reassured that we will all work together so she feels a bit better. It's going to take love and time, but luckily we all have those to spend.
It's hard to know what to do. I'm not a trained counselor or psychologist, but I am a good listener and friend. I went around to their house today, after a text message saying "No, I don't want visitors." I brought with me a big bunch of flowers (to leave on the door step if necessary) and was greeted by a teary friend. I thought of others here who have helped friends struggling with depression, and I asked if I could do anything. I just got a 'no,' so I played with the baby and gently asked a few questions.
I persuaded my friend to leave the house and bring the baby, and we headed out for lunch. Blessedly, she really did perk up. I suggested a few things, like seeing her doctor or a therapist we both know through work, and I left it at that. I phoned her husband who thanked me and said that the group of friends we are part of, are like family to them. For me, I felt reassured that we will all work together so she feels a bit better. It's going to take love and time, but luckily we all have those to spend.
1765 Reads
- Posted by kiwicat
- Mar 22, 2016
- Comments (14)
Readers Comments
ChristineAZ wrote: God bless you! That was wonderful!
Sandra wrote: I will have her in my prayers - depression is scary to not only the person feeling the gloom but for the family too - it was good that you reached out. Sometimes the one depressed shuns others not because they actually want to be alone, but they don't want to be a burden (what they often think they are when people invade their space of doom). Keep checking from time to time and get her and her child out of the house when you can, maybe taking them to a park so the little one gets interaction with others her age. Your kindness is appreciated by the family, and she does want your caring also. Blessings to you.
AndiCas wrote: It's not easy to push forward gently when someone rejects your offer, but it sounds as if your encouragement and support was really appreciated. Wishing your friend well as she works through this, and thinking of you and her husband as you support her x
pluto178 wrote: Make plans to meet and go to the part of something sometimes being around people is very difficult for people with depression ... other people begin to feel like the problem.........I Vant to be alone............has much more meaning to it but if you can have a plan ..... yes she will try to cancel but the less people you see when you go out the better.........a walk in the woods, on the beach etc., socialising is so very difficult ..............well done on your success so far but take it slowly...............x
katking wrote: holding her and you and the baby and everyone in threads of light that you have activated....
lt33 wrote: That's wonderful you took that extra step in being there for your friend you listened & went over even thou she said no visitors that meant a lot that you were just there when she didn't even know what she wanted
savraj wrote: Good friends listen and do what they can to help. You are such a good friend
terre wrote: Thank you for following your heart and not her words, and going there with your flowers anyway. People don't always know what's best for them. Keep up the good deeds!
melnotes wrote: How kind and thoughtful of you, sounds like your visit was just what she needed :)
kjoyw wrote: So kind. And it sounds like you gave her and husband some really good advice. Hope you will keep in touch with her.
