Stories of Kindness from Around the World

I am an assistant principal. As I reflect upon life this past year, although the experiences that took place were not directly my own, they still became a part of me, and it is through them I changed.  

In September, right before school started, a beloved teacher of 39- years-old killed himself. In April, a 38-year-old mother of three, and friend to many, killed herself.  Both of these events were obviously tragic and both took place within the span of the school year. The many living casualties who were left behind began questioning themselves, "could I have done or said anything to prevent this?" "Maybe I should have spent more time with them. I should have, would have, could have done something more," and the onslaught of self-blame continued. Much of these questions that were asked are understandable, and I was among the many who kept this process of self-interrogation churning in my mind.

When these tragedies occur, we are powerless and being powerless depletes us. I began to brainstorm over how I could help those who were grieving the most during the school year and this problem plagued me from September to June.  Living with this guilt, I remembered that I once heard a famous motivational speaker say that no amount of feeling bad, or feeling down, or feeling empty is going to help another human being feel better. I began to internalize that thought with this same goal of 'curing' the community of the pain and loss they felt due to the sudden departures of these two loving teachers.

The months droned on as I continued to feel sorry for the respective teachers' spouses and their children, thinking that they must be in an eternally depressive state. I used to think that in life, there are some people that forever have their cups half empty. We can give them all of what we have and still their negative-thinking yet brilliant minds will uncover yet another problem. No amount of positive vibrations seemed to ever be enough to fill their cup. No amount of love could ever fill their heart. Yet, something began to change when I ruminated on the speaker's thought more deeply. As those who were grieving had begun to heal,  I began to realize that it was not them that needed to change. It was I who needed to change and when I changed what I saw, the things that I saw changed. I realized that the empty cup, the dry ocean, the vacant heart, the negative-thinker was me.

Once I realized that, I realized that there was value in self-care and I looked at how I was living my life. As I took care of myself, spiritually, physically, and mentally, in the process of caring for myself, I was caring for others. Whether,  the others were my school teachers, my students, my neighbors, my husband, my brother, my sister, my baby, a stranger, or any human being who crossed paths with me and came in my presence, I had a new way to look at them. So, now, when I cross paths with another, I ask myself the question, am I meeting this person with a closed heart that feels bad and has the weakest will to live, or am I greeting another with a warm heart that is pounding with an openness to love life?