Stories of Kindness from Around the World

Children Watch and Learn From Us


--by wayfarer, posted Mar 1, 2009

Teenagers! What can I say? My daughter is 12. Sometimes she is a crazy bundle of fun and sometimes she seems to have the weight of the world on her shoulders. This was one of her down days.

She was bored and sad (and making a meal out of it!).  Every time she complained about being bored I would suggest something she could do, but there were always bucketloads of reasons why she couldn't do any of them. The suggestion that she might enjoy tidying her bedroom just provoked a look that reminded me of thunderclouds -- she's been good at that look since she was two!

I was getting a little fed up with all this negativity, but I kept my patience.  I gently suggested that possibly the very best way in the world to have a good day was to try and make it a better day for someone else.  Then I suggested a few kind deeds she might like to do.

To my amazement, she seemed interested. Not so much in the kind deeds as in what I had said. When she spoke there was no hint of sarcasm or teenage attitude. Just honest-to-goodness curiosity. It was like my little girl had just come back into the room. "Does that mean that every day is a good day for you?" she asked.

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I told her it did, we talked some more, then I left the room. I had to because I was welling up.

We all share good stories on this site, but  they are only a snapshot of life. I have plenty of less nice aspects of my personality. I'm only too aware of them and they constantly bother me. But my daughter, who knows me better than most, seemed to think I spent every day making the day better for others.

Oh, wow!

Our children do watch us, and while our best (or worst) example often doesn't seem to have any visible effect on our children (especially teenagers!) that doesn't mean we should stop trying to be all we would want them to be. We teach our children through our lives.

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Readers Comments

AURELIA wrote: Beautiful Wayfarer. They are always watching...and yes,sometimies it's not pretty what they see. You hit the nail on the head when you said "TRY" to be all we want them to be!!! We can only try...we are only human and make mistakes. But by admitting we make mistakes, only brings us closer to our children. Seeing ourselves through our children's eyes .... ahhhh ... I can only pray my Goodness outweighs the bad. Thanks for putting these thoughts in my head. :0) Have a great day. ~:0) Aurelia
whatthe wrote: I'm having a bit of a time at the moment with worrying about what my 3 children(ages 4,6&9)see. My health is far from great right now and it worries me what they think, feel and see. And what kind of effect it will have on thier lives. I hope that one day something like this will happen to me and my children. Thanks for sharing.xxx
onefish2fish wrote: it is so true how we don't see how much kids notice and take in. great story! ~ Stacey
cabbage wrote: Dear Wayfarer,
Wow---that is the best feedback you can ever get! I'm sure that it is because it is true---you DO try to make each day better for someone else and that makes all the difference. Bless you for being such a wonderful example, and thanks for inspiring me to aspire to the same.
Much gratitude,
Cabbage
lovebug wrote: Oh! God Wayfarer, it is so good to know I am not alone in my flawed personality. I am to busy pointing out the good qualities in other people, I don't seem to have time to work on my flaws, but I have learned to live with them.
tressyanne wrote: This is so true. My two children know more about me than i do sometimes. We are not perfect creatures. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and make things better in our lives. We are ALL capable of change, we just have to want it bad enough. Your daughter learned a wonderful lesson! Way to go Wayfarer. smiles to you.
MakeSomeoneSmile wrote: That is great wayfarer. Kids do see and learn so much more than we ever give them credit for. I'm sure you realize that if your daughter sees you that way, it matters very much to her and has left a deep fingerprint on her heart. Good for you, her and the world you both impact!
JuneBug wrote: Wayfarer, I have said it before and I will say it again...You are such a wonderful father, not perfect, because none of us are, but wonderful! You give your best. That's what counts..Great job!!!!! :)
lmil1954 wrote: I mirror JuneBug's comment-you have been an awesome example of kindness to Amy from early on. And you DO seem to go around making the world a better place for lots of folks...I know this cos I'm one of them. God bless you today! love, Linda:)
merv wrote: Sigh Yep
Teach Your Children Well

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Thanks Wayfarer your post is great as always and thanks too for reminding me of this song.

Merv

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