Stories of Kindness from Around the World

What She Needed Most, Was Kindness Toward Herself

--by brindlegirl, posted Sep 24, 2016
I did a HUGE kindness to me tonight. And this one, for me personally, is HUGE!

I gave myself a gift.

I called in to work. A job I love. A job I have never resented going to or called in "sick" too. A job I adore. That job. Well tonight, 20 minutes before my shift was due to begin, I called in to say that I wasn't able to do my shift.

Actually I was way more upfront and honest than this. I explained I wasn't "sick" and was quite perfectly able to do my shift physically, but that right now, I wasn't in a good state emotionally. Huge.

Huge because I never admit this. Huge because I was extremely vulnerable and honest. And huge because even when I did call I knew I was taking a huge risk. They could say no its not ok and I'd have to show up even more vulnerable after admitting what a mess I was.

I am so grateful and proud of me tonight for doing this. Because so much shame and guilt can be attached to this. Yet for me, tonight, it was the right thing to do. I couldn't face people. I couldn't put on my happy face. I needed to cry. I needed to be alone. So I was and did just that, cry.

I feel better now. So much better. I've released lots of pain that was so obviously sitting within me. And had I not 'put myself out there' and faced a possible "no" from work, or worse 'lied' and said I was sick, then I wouldn't have been able to release all that yuck. I'd still be carrying it in me.

I'm ok now and you're probably wondering, "What is it? Are you ok? Why so upset?"

Honestly I couldn't tell you. There was no 'reason,' just intense emotion. So intense from deep within. I know deep in my heart that this was pain that needed to be released.

So through the pain and tears alone on my bedroom floor, I sobbed. And that there is the kind of healing I do and go through. It's why I'm the way I am. It's why I can be so real, so honest, so happy, and so free. Because I release it. And because I give myself permission to cry and feel.

And tonight I did just that. I didn't stifle it on down, put on my happy face and show up to work. No I gave a huge kindness to me and allowed it to be felt. I felt it all.

And I'm sharing tonight in case this in some way helps you. Or helps you give yourself permission to feel, cry, or release in whatever way you need to. Because when you do, the rewards are always far greater than any of the pain. ❤
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Readers Comments

Lawrence D. wrote: Thanks for sharing i really needed to hear this. There are times i just do not want to face people even though i have mentioned that i will show up. Need to be kind with myself at such times. Remind myself that 'i love accept approve have faith and trust in myself no matter what'. Compassion with self is equally important.
Hi wrote: So wonderful to hear your story. It's ok to be compassionate with self. It's ok to care for yourself like you would a good friend.
Blessings and love
ChristineAz wrote: Beautiful. I . Ok have called in and i tell them, i need a mental health day. They say ok. It's normal. It's ok. Good for you!
Aurelia wrote: Being honest to our deep feelings, and acting on it is taking a breath of fresh air to be able to carry on. My respect and admiration for your generosity in sharing.
Aurelia wrote: Being honest to our deep feelings, and acting on it is taking a breath of fresh air to be able to carry on. My respect and admiration for your generosity in sharing.
Painiacs wrote: Good for you! May you keep letting emotions out whether it's a good cry, or smile and hug for others! Good for you for taking care of you!
kjoyw wrote: So well done! Really glad to admit to your feelings and not shove them aside and were honest about them. Some of my biggest healings have come after such times as you describe. You feel that so much pressure has been lifted amd you are so much more at peace. Blessings.
RoseMarie wrote: Well done on your courage am so glad you can be so honest and also that you have felt a huge release x 💓
patjos wrote: Thanks so much for sharing your teaching about self-compassion. It is so very needful.
melnotes wrote: I so admire you and your courage to do what was right for you in this moment, understand also that releasing of emotions and deep pain within. So glad you gave yourself this time, thank you for sharing xxx

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