Stories of Kindness from Around the World

The Secret To A Lasting Marriage


--by sethi, posted Mar 27, 2009

When I was a little girl, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burnt toast in front of my Dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!  Yet all my Dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad,for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said, "Baby I love burnt toast."  Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy goodnight and I asked him if he really liked his toast burnt. He wrapped me up in his arms and said, "Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!" In bed that night, I thought about the scene at dinner and the kindness my Daddy showed to my Mom.

To this day, it's a cherished memory from my childhood that I'll never forget.  And it's one that came to mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.  I had arrived home late, as usual, and decided we would have breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!  To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed and quickly began to cook eggs,turkey, sausage and buttered toast.  Thinking I had things under control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the oven! Now, had it been any other day, I would have started all over.  But it was one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of bread.  So burnt toast it was! 

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about the toast. But all I got was, "Thank You!"  I watched as he ate bite by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But instead, all Jack said was, "Babe , this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight.  I know you had a hard day!"  As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my  Mom and Dad -- how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them. And was quietly thankful for having a marriage where burnt toast wasn't  a deal-breaker either!

You know life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find out that Jack isn't the perfect husband!  But, somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the imperfections in each other.  You might say that we've learned to love each other for who we really are!  We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we still are best friends. We've travelled through many valleys and enjoyed many mountain tops. And yet at the same time , Jack and I must work every minute of every day to make this thing called  "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that  learning to accept each other's faults- and choosing to celeberate each other's differences- is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing and lasting marriage relationship.  We could extend this to any relationship in fact as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife relationship or parent -child or friendship.

By: Deb Billy Graham

13.1K Reads

Readers Comments

Mordekai wrote: Touching! God bless :)
suchmeetraTon wrote: Thanz 4 sharin. Its a lovely story.
sethi wrote: You are welcome.
dreamer22 wrote: Thanks for sharing! That was wonderful.
xinchengyin wrote: No one is perfect. The key to maintain a harmonious friendship between one and his spouse is think in his/her position
trueblue wrote: I enjoyed your story. I agree love and respect of our individuality. Is burnt toast. Lol big cheesy smile
sookiegirl wrote: I liked your story and i am reminded how often words can really hurt and when we hold our tongue for the greater good it matters, as a little girl watching your dad and mom who knew years later how you would be sharing this story, it warmed my heart and help me to rememeber to "keep a going" do what is right and be kind it does matter!

My husband and i have been married for over 30 years!

God bless!
lalit wrote: Thank you for this post. It came on a day after i was dealing with a million things with my wife. We have been married 18 years on coming 2009 sept. And marriage is hard work and we have to work at it everyday. Your post brought up some wonderful thoughts and made me realize how so very lucky i really am. I would marry him all over again and i love him more every year. There are just some battles we needed to lay to rest and some to fight. But thank you again!

Big smiles to you
Liz Hodson wrote: Just keep it simple. There is enough war in our world we don't need it in our own homes, just feed our man let them be who they are. And they will enjoy your burnt toast too. Thank you for sharing that, it was peerfeect
okeny wrote: The perfect gift for me today. It has just reassured me that i made the right decision last time round not to walk away from our two year old marriage when my wife's somewhat imperfect act threatened my soul out of this relationship. I now can sit back relax over that decision. Uptill now, i often regreted whether i made the best of decision. It's even more rewarding at present when my wife is working far off in foreign country while i take care of our only daughter back here home. Ihanks, a great deal. It's an imperfect world!

Add A Comment