Reflections on My First Humbling Act of Kindness

--by shahsahil, posted Jul 7, 2009

Today I did one small random act of kindness. A few days ago, I read about RAK and felt an urge to do something...today I did it! I paid for the person behind me in the drive thru line at Taco Bell. His/her bill was less than $5. And I felt like I should pay it.

It took some time for me to make sure that I did not feel ashamed. Even doing a kind deed, I felt people will laugh at me and I felt self-concisous. And then I thought no I should really do it. So, I did it. Now that I am thinking about it... I feel really happy. It is a different feeling which comes after you do something different.

I think there is more behind the feeling I have right now. It is a feeling of unknown. When you help somebody randomly, you do not know what the outcome will be. You do not know if it will create any effect on the person you helped. You do not know if he/she will appreciate your gesture or not. And I think that is the fascinating thing about it.

You do not know if that person was moved by your kindness and if he will continute to do it or not. He might have a great day and it will affect his life, or maybe he will be so moved that he will spread this positiveness around the world, or maybe he just enjoys a free lunch... who knows. I do not know what happened, but what I can do is... I can imagine! I can feel the positive vibe in me and just imagine the same positive vibe in him and people that he would imagenatively help... isn't that the power of anonymous kindness?

We do not expect anything in return and we do not even know if what we spent (as in our time and money and our good gesture) will be recognized. So there are no expectations... there are no feelings of success or failure... there is no ego.. this whole thing makes you so humble.. and that's the real pure nature that each soul sould cultivate.

I help and vounteer at temple. I put lots of effort there, so that people appreciate it, but there I am asking for something in return. But, in random acts of kindness, there are no expectations in return. Such a great force to make any person humble, as you do not have any control over the situation.

Let's say more regarding control... I was lately thinking about watching a movie.. and how it affects me. When I can do something, control is in my hand. I should develop my mind to stop myself ... I should stop my desires from controlling me, which gives me the illlusion that I have control of the situation. I can do whatever I want -- that is ego. That is giving desire what it wants.

There are situations when we do not know what will be the outcome and when we are associated with such situations we get tense. But if we are not associated with that situation like some close sports game or so, we just feel normally. We will be excited but not tensed, as it is not affecting us.

Besides these two types of situations there are times when we are doing sometihng and we need a desired outcome. And there are moments when we do not know what to do, like when we do not have control over a situation and moreover we do not have any idea what the situation is, so we feel helpless. Now that is not a good feeling, so we try to understand things and we try to control things, but isn't that all illusion? In reality things are not in our hands and we do not understand things clearly, so why don't we try to make ourselves comfortable with helplessness, with uncertainity? And that is what RAK teaches me.. I am helpless.. I do not know if my kindness will rise or will subdue.. I do not know.. just deal with it.. that's the fact.. that doesn't mean I stop doing RAK.. just keep doing it.. and hope for the best.. and imagine a great future ahead.

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Posted by shahsahil
Jul 7, 2009
Comments (11)

Readers Comments

Rajni wrote: You probably know the bhagwad gita verse ch 2 ver 47

Karmanye vadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadachana,
Ma karmaphalaheturbhurma te sangostvakarmani

You have the right to work only but never to its fruits.
Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

Doing selfless work like rak, we need not worry about the outcome for we do not have control over it. We trust god and live it in his hands and be worry or anxiety free.

Aileen wrote: I have gathered lots of cloehts to donate, and am still doing so. I gave some coats to a friend who gave them out to homeless people this winter. The cloehts are going to a place that helps families after disasters locally, like tornadoes, or their house burned. I also helped gather boxes for the soldiers deployed in the war, so they could get some things they needed and a little reminder of home. For the women soldiers, i included small sample sizes of body spray, shampoo, lotions, conditioners, so that they could still feel feminine even doing the wonderful job they do. Sometimes if i am in line at the store, and someone is a little short, i go ahead a pay the rest, if it is not too much for my budget.

rfgseidh wrote: Ato2jz wvuozpovknag

nisha wrote: Good reflection. You did a spontaneous act of kindness instead of trying too hard. That is a beautiful thing in itself.

FWhiteC wrote: I truely can identify myself w/u. U are absolutly right. U have truely motivated me

tkedog wrote: Yes very wonderful spirit. Keep up wit the rak. We need more good people out there passing along the positive energies. Take care and keep it up

iferlamb wrote: It is a difficult thing to relinquish control. When i do these anonymous acts of kindness and then see the person trying so hard to find and thank the person who did the act it is a bit disappointing that they missed the point of "pay it forward" which is what i am, we are, trying to spread with our little rak's. Still, i must remind myself that i can only control my actions not the actions of others. They are at a different stage of growth than i am. This is what i must remember. Thank you for sharing and please keep paying it forward! Smiles.

tanis wrote: Yup! Surrender the outcome, the agenda, the attachments. Surrender the ego and let love be in charge.

cabbage wrote: Love your reflections on your rak.

Thank you for sharing them. You have a wonderful attitude and spirit. Many hugs to you!

TheakstonCat wrote: I agree with you! I love the hot feeling I get in my chest when I have done something kind and can spend an age thinking up warm fuzzy feelings of how that person is feeling, imagingin them telling people about the nice thing that happened to them and how this spurred them on into their own kindness acts! I am sure that no 'RAK' ever goes unappreciated and that loss of control in this instance is a very good thing. I think there is a spiritual teaching on 'letting go' or 'relinquishing control' but I can't remember what it is! You did a very nice thing!
T.Cat x

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