Learning How To Live Happily, Again

--by Neha, posted Jul 12, 2009

One of my patients is a successful businessman and he told me that before his cancer he became depressed unless things went a certain way. Happiness was "having the cookie." If he had the cookie, things were good. If he didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn. Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, the most prestigious address.

A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sat shaking his head ruefully. "It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy. But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long. The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you. You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it. Having the cookie is not what life is about."

My patient laughed and said cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf. "Two years ago, cancer asked ne, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He paused thoughtfully. "Damn, I guess life is the cookie."

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Posted by Neha
Jul 12, 2009
Comments (15)

Readers Comments

puneet bansal wrote: Great dear thanx for telling him the wonderful story

Nisha wrote: Thanx for sharing awesome learning.

mjalvira wrote: So beautiful and true. It jsut takes a decision to be happy. It isn't always easy, but with stories like yours we are back in the trail and appreciate life as it is. Simple, and great at the same time!

Babylyn wrote: I'm inspired by your story! The most valuable and precious thing is life itself. Live your life to the fullest. Thanks for inspiring me.

Pradeep Mohapatra wrote: Very goo refreshments

Owen wrote: Thanks for this neha. I find myself drowning in 'western consumption mind'. I don't want to wait to get cancer to wake me up again!

DR.TAHIRA wrote: Great. Sometimes diseases are eye openers. From fancy to reality

Sharon wrote: Beautiful reminder - it brought a tear of joy - many thks
Now how do learn to "get it" earlier?

Tigerlily wrote: Oh my. Thank you for sharing. I may ponder on this one for years. And yet i wonder. Is it okay to have my cookie and eat it too? :) blessings to the sharer and blessings to the readers!

bytheocean2 wrote: Thanks for a very thoughtful story. It's unfortunate that some people (not us of course) take such a long time to "get it"
Best regards, barbara

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