Why Didn't I Help Her?

--by captonjohn, posted Jul 19, 2009

On Monday at 2:35 pm, a bus full of passengers was going to 4 Bungalow from Andheri (E) in the outskirts of Bombay. There were a lot of guys on the bus who wanted to reach their destinations and were busy in their work. The bus was so crowded that you had to struggle even to get room to stand, forget about a seat. People were entering & exiting stop by stop.

At one of the bus stops, an old lady came on the bus. She was not too old but looking tired and I think she was not well also. She had to go beyond 7 Bangalow which was a distance of at least one hour. I don’t know why I was watching her. I noticed after a few minutes that her legs were shivering slightly. Maybe she was tired and that’s why she was facing this problem. She was looking to each seat so she could find a place to sit down. She asked a few guys to let her sit because she had a problem of arthritis in her knees. Nobody responded to her positively, so she was feeling helpless.

I noticed that she was facing a lot of pain and she was trying to hide it but had not succeeded. I was thinking of giving her my seat, but was fighting in my mind about why I should give her my seat. I answered it myself: “I should give her my seat because she is old, she has trouble and it's my duty to help her.” But I feared from the fact that this is Mumbai, where to help anybody may be dangerous. I was thinking about her but hesitating to give her my seat.

There was a big battle in my heart to give her the seat or not. “I must give her my seat! But what about when she thought wrong about me? What if I’ll face some kind of problem? What will I answer if she says something wrong to me? I must help her!! …….No!! Maybe I face problems but what about if my mother were in this condition? Then I wouldn't wait to help my mother, then why am I thinking like this? Yes!! I should help her…..and I will!”

Before I stood to ask the lady to take my seat an old man stood and offered her his seat. The old lady took his seat and this old man traveled his whole journey standing. That old man had only one leg, but he stood for that lady.

I found myself in an ocean of shame and guilt -- why didn’t I help her? My journey ended but I’m still repenting about why I wasted my time in thinking when it was the right thing to do? At that time I had fallen from my stage and was unable to see myself in mirror! I was not able to make eye contact with myself! Oh God!! Please forgive me and apologies to that old lady.

Now I still travel by bus and have decided to never waste time in thinking to help anybody whatever it results. I’ll help althought it's easier to talk and think about, but it’s harder to actually do -- now I’ll do it! What about you?

6150 Reads

Posted by captonjohn
Jul 19, 2009
Comments (39)

Readers Comments

Rajashree wrote: Mmmmm. Its true we face the same problem even in chennai people have become more and more conservative. We cant blame anybody he reason is getting a seat in a town bus is very difficult and that too after a tiresome and strainous work, we have to travel long distance to reach our destiny and prepare work for the rest of the day and the next forth coming day, hence people hesitate to give seats to the needy.

incognita wrote: You are amazing, i have had the same experience in my country colombia, and giving help in these countries often does lead in falling into adodgy trap or getting misunderstood and putting yourself in danger, it is not shamefull at all to think this way looking out for yourself is as important as looking out for others. Your a great person for recognizing what you should have done, and i sure dont hesitate after my experiences. Well done for reflecting on the situation an sharing it so that we can all avoid this too =)

Sydney wrote: I think it is amazing that you had the courage to share this story.

You didn't help this one woman, but it made you feel so bad, that because of that, in the future a lot of people will be helped by you. So you can turn this into something good.

pass4sure wrote: Thanks for giving good information.

Jane Rokes wrote: I am proud of you for agonizing over this situation. It sounds like it set the stage for great kindness in the future. Nobody is pefect and it is the grace you use to move through these situations that really matters.

eby wrote: I thank god for your courage in realising your mistake, don't give up dear, there is always another opportunity to help somebody. Sometimes, we all miss precious opportunity to put a smile on the faces of the others. Cheer up, just watch out even today, there is somebody in need next door. Let us all continue to make life easier for one another.

DJ wrote: I am glad to know there are people like you, who actually have a concience. My step-daughter recently had an opportunity to help me when i was sitting on the side of the road with my dog, who had gotten over-heated during our morning walk. Rather than stop to see what was wrong, she continued to drive right on by and still, two-weeks later has never asked me about the incident. I have had a lot of thoughts about her doing this, none that are good. Maybe, just maybe, she is also having regrets but is unable to say so? I can only hope. Thank you for sharing your story, it does give me some hope.

gracieliz wrote: I'm so grateful that you shared this story with us. We have all had those moments when we have failed to act. Thank goodness the old man offered her his seat, thereby offering you the eyes with which to see. You will do the right thing next time, and the next, and the next. Blessings.

hotcocoa wrote: Sadly i cant tell how it feels wanting to do something and not doing it. :(
But thanks for sharing this story i'm pretty sure it will encourage people and i hope it encourages me at the time it is needed.

Smitha wrote: 'you only get one chance to help, so when u get it, dont loose the opportunity, as you might never travel that path again'. I am glad u learned a lot from this incident. God bless you! -love, latesha

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