Stories of Kindness from Around the World

Why Didn't I Help Her?


--by captonjohn, posted Jul 19, 2009
On Monday at 2:35 pm, a bus full of passengers was going to 4 Bungalow from Andheri (E) in the outskirts of Bombay. There were a lot of guys on the bus who wanted to reach their destinations and were busy in their work. The bus was so crowded that you had to struggle even to get room to stand, forget about a seat. People were entering & exiting stop by stop.

At one of the bus stops, an old lady came on the bus. She was not too old but looking tired and I think she was not well also. She had to go beyond 7 Bangalow which was a distance of at least one hour. I don’t know why I was watching her. I noticed after a few minutes that her legs were shivering slightly. Maybe she was tired and that’s why she was facing this problem. She was looking to each seat so she could find a place to sit down. She asked a few guys to let her sit because she had a problem of arthritis in her knees. Nobody responded to her positively, so she was feeling helpless.

I noticed that she was facing a lot of pain and she was trying to hide it but had not succeeded. I was thinking of giving her my seat, but was fighting in my mind about why I should give her my seat. I answered it myself: “I should give her my seat because she is old, she has trouble and it's my duty to help her.” But I feared from the fact that this is Mumbai, where to help anybody may be dangerous. I was thinking about her but hesitating to give her my seat.

There was a big battle in my heart to give her the seat or not. “I must give her my seat! But what about when she thought wrong about me? What if I’ll face some kind of problem? What will I answer if she says something wrong to me? I must help her!! …….No!! Maybe I face problems but what about if my mother were in this condition? Then I wouldn't wait to help my mother, then why am I thinking like this? Yes!! I should help her…..and I will!”

Before I stood to ask the lady to take my seat an old man stood and offered her his seat. The old lady took his seat and this old man traveled his whole journey standing. That old man had only one leg, but he stood for that lady.

I found myself in an ocean of shame and guilt -- why didn’t I help her? My journey ended but I’m still repenting about why I wasted my time in thinking when it was the right thing to do? At that time I had fallen from my stage and was unable to see myself in mirror! I was not able to make eye contact with myself! Oh God!! Please forgive me and apologies to that old lady.

Now I still travel by bus and have decided to never waste time in thinking to help anybody whatever it results. I’ll help althought it's easier to talk and think about, but it’s harder to actually do -- now I’ll do it! What about you?
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Readers Comments

wayfarer wrote: Captonjohn, there are many on this site who would give up their seat for that old lady in an instant ... now. But in the past many of those people (myself included) failed at some point to do the right thing and were haunted by it like you. So, we made sure it never happened again.
It's only a failure if you stop. If you do better next time - then it was a lesson learned!
And I know you'll do it next time!
TheakstonCat wrote: Stop feeling guilty Captonjohn. We have all been slow to do the right thing, but as long as we have learned from this we can go forward into being better people. You now have learnt a lesson and I know you are going to do the right thing next time! Don't be hard on yourself, pick yourself up and keep an eye out for the next good thing you can do! The next good thing will make up for it.

T.Cat x
yatrik wrote: Hey John

Donot feel guilty but that old man had given a true lesson of life and that will give you lots of strength to do kindness.

yatrik<:>
captonjohn wrote: thanks to all friends here! I'm feeling better now after reading your comments.

But I'll not repeat this mistake again. That's a promise to me & you.
FairyBubbles wrote: Sometimes we need to learn the hard way - you feel that you should have helped but you did not do it then - this has had a big impact on your life and maybe you will help more people now than if that incident had not happened.

Don't feel bad, go forward looking for opportunities to help and then lots of good will come to many.
Love
gianjot.
vsoul wrote: Captain john, you felt compassion...u had realisation....u did self assessment and decided to correct yourself. What a fine persona you are. Better late than never. My best wishes.
captonjohn wrote: thanks soulvibha! for motivating & helping me.
AURELIA wrote: Good for you!!! Don't be a repeat offender :0) the fact that you had remorse shows what a good man you truly are! God Bless you Captonjohn! I see a wonderful "servant" shinining through! :0) ~Start with a Smile and it's all good!
~Aurelia
lovebug wrote: We all make mistakes in life, but it is seldom a fatal error. I could pray to have learned by my own mistakes. Sad but true, I'am still working on them, one by one.
captonjohn wrote: thanks AURELIA & lovebug, I'll definitely not repeat this mistake again. Thanks for help.

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