A Season to Renew
--by sethi, posted Oct 8, 2009
As the new season of autumn approaches, let us consider not only the outward changes of renewal in nature as we see the color of leaves change, but also look to the renewals in our relationships and honoring the needed changes that need to take place within them.
Listen now, to the words of a revered sage, as he imparts wisdom on refreshing our relationships.
Our thoughts,words, and actions often cause harm to others and to us. Renewing our relationships on a regular basis is an important practice. Without reconciliation, we cannot deepen our understanding and we only cause more suffering .
Every week we have the time to go to the cinema, to go shop, but we rarely find the time to renew the relationships with the people who are close to us. " Begining Anew " is a practice of reconciliation. It involves three steps - sharing, appreciation, expressing regret , and expressing hurt and difficulties .
In the first step, we share appreciation. We acknowlege the positive attributes of the other person. The second step of expressing regret is the oppourtunity to share with the other person, our regrets for the things we have done or said that might have caused him or her pain.
This requires humility and the willingness to let go of our own pain and pride . In the third step of, we express our own hurt with mindful loving speech, without blaming or criticizing. We speak in such a way that the other person can listen and receive our words . If we blame and condemn the other person, his heart will close and he will not be able to hear us. We ask the other person to help us to understand why he has spoken and acted as he has, causing us so much pain. Perhaps, later, he can share his feelings so that we can understand him more deeply. If a strong emotion arises in us while we are expressing our suffering, we should simply stop and come back to our breathing until the emotion subsides. The other person can support us by following his breathing until we are ready to continue . We can enjoy practicing " Begining Anew " with our partner, our family, or our colleagues regularly. By doing this, we will prevent misunderstandings from accumulating. Rather, we will take care of them as they arise, like we take care of our children.
By : Thich Nahat Hanh
Wise words by a wise man . Let us make it a practise in our lives. I intend to do that .
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love and hugs,
Absolutely a GREAT post!! Thanks a lot for sharing these words of wisdom. One can learn a lot through the writing of Thich Nahat Hanh.