Last week, my friends and I got together to eat delicious Asian fusion chicken wings in our college town. We hadn’t all been together in a while, so it was nice catching up and sharing summer plans with each other.
These catch ups, however, do not allow for deeper conversations, especially if someone is uncomfortable sharing personal troubles in a larger crowd. After the dinner, three of us got desserts - boba drinks - and I noticed that my friend, D, was hovering a bit, seemingly not wanting to go as if he wanted, or needed, our company at that time.
Earlier that night during dinner, he had also said his second year in college was really rough, so I asked
him about his experience again. This time the flood gates of emotions opened, and he shared with us issues of mental health he had been dealing with throughout the year with his academics and his relationship with his girlfriend.
My other friend and I were ready to leave, but I asked my friend if we could stay and listen to D. We did, and we spent another 30 minutes listening to his story of trauma, mental health, pressure, anxiety and depression.
After our talk, D messaged the both of us later that night how thankful he was that we spent time with him and lent an ear. This experience showed me how being observant, attentive, and caring about an individual can truly make their day - it doesn’t have to be a fancy gift. Time to listen and care may sometimes be the best gift of all.
These catch ups, however, do not allow for deeper conversations, especially if someone is uncomfortable sharing personal troubles in a larger crowd. After the dinner, three of us got desserts - boba drinks - and I noticed that my friend, D, was hovering a bit, seemingly not wanting to go as if he wanted, or needed, our company at that time.
Earlier that night during dinner, he had also said his second year in college was really rough, so I asked
him about his experience again. This time the flood gates of emotions opened, and he shared with us issues of mental health he had been dealing with throughout the year with his academics and his relationship with his girlfriend. My other friend and I were ready to leave, but I asked my friend if we could stay and listen to D. We did, and we spent another 30 minutes listening to his story of trauma, mental health, pressure, anxiety and depression.
After our talk, D messaged the both of us later that night how thankful he was that we spent time with him and lent an ear. This experience showed me how being observant, attentive, and caring about an individual can truly make their day - it doesn’t have to be a fancy gift. Time to listen and care may sometimes be the best gift of all.
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- Posted by sunkissed
- Jun 25, 2019
- Comments (10)
Readers Comments
Lea wrote: We all need to rcognize nonverbal cues of those needing to talk. Thank for your perceptiveness and willingness to take the time.
RoseBeautyxo wrote: I am so glad when your friend decided to leave that you asked to listen; many will certainly do the opposite and avoid these kind of conversations. Thank you
dotmatrix wrote: Loving presence and deep listening are, to me, the greatest gifts you can give or be given. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ♥.
Helenconnell2 wrote: Thank you 😊
patjos wrote: Thank you for coming together :)))
scully wrote: Great to be there to listen without judgement
mindyjourney wrote: That’s what friends are for :))). Thank you for opening the space, so friend could share.
Mish wrote: Listening attentively is a wonderful kindness indeed. Bless you all.
healingtree wrote: More important than you may ever realize....
DANCE wrote: Thank you for listening
