My husband's family has a long record of cancer (parents, uncles, aunts, etc.), and he also comes from a background of physical abuse as a child. One of the things he has always been afraid of is that I might leave him one day, because that's what his childhood taught him happens to things he loves - they get taken away.
On Friday, I found out that I may have cancer, and we are now on the treadmill that follows that sort of news. He was trying to be supportive and strong for me, but I could see that there was something fragile behind the strength and realized that his childhood nightmares were there - he loves me, and he might lose me.
So I told him every day we will spend some time where he isn't strong for me; time when he can cry, and rage, and be silent, or whatever it is that he needs to help him cope with what we are both going through. Then we get back to fighting this as a team, because I promised him he would never lose me, and I'm damned if I'm going to break that promise to him.
On Friday, I found out that I may have cancer, and we are now on the treadmill that follows that sort of news. He was trying to be supportive and strong for me, but I could see that there was something fragile behind the strength and realized that his childhood nightmares were there - he loves me, and he might lose me.
So I told him every day we will spend some time where he isn't strong for me; time when he can cry, and rage, and be silent, or whatever it is that he needs to help him cope with what we are both going through. Then we get back to fighting this as a team, because I promised him he would never lose me, and I'm damned if I'm going to break that promise to him.
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- Posted by melaniep
- Dec 4, 2020
- Comments (10)
Readers Comments
lindariebel wrote: Brilliant reply to him. Caregivers go through so much.
mindyjourney wrote: Oh, dear friend, blessings for you and husband. Faith that you will find much strength and courage, as you draw together even closer.
mish wrote: Beautiful devotion . Blessings of strength & healing.
melnotes wrote: Thoughts are with you at this time, that is such a very special offering to your husband, telling him its ok to not be ok. I hope you get all the support you need through this journey. Hugs and love xx
Love2Day wrote: That's really sweet of you to be there for him like that. Your husband and I have a very similiar background, and I too was told the same things about not being left, and then she left me and never even said why, just left.......... I trust you'll truly be there for him, you're awesome! Blessings to you both.
sandyremillar wrote: You touched my heart with this news...have a few loved ones going through this same ordeal...I applaud you on such wise way of focusing it all, for you, for your husband...and so I send my healing loving angels to help you weather this hard spot. You can handle it! And we are here to support you all the way. If you wish my healing support beyond this point, do not hesitate to reach me at sandyremillard@yahoo.com or sandy Miranda remillard cumming ga Skype. I Am a healing channel to the 7 Archangels...my love to you all...bless you!
pluto178 wrote: We will live our lives together into old age will have to become his new mantra. What a woman you are to be so understanding of his reasoning spend a little time each day on deciding you are going nowhere and he will NOT lose you. Wow you have blown me away with your strength and I really do believe that you will come through this, you believe it and now its time for him to believe it too. I really am right behind you x
jia wrote: :-((( hope u wont break the promise.... ygod bless u n ur husband... keep smiling. .
wavingatyou wrote: Blessings. All the best <3
kmbhai wrote: great !!!
