Stories of Kindness from Around the World

France is a very special place.  It is the favorite tourist destination for people from all over the world.  As an American who has lived here for over 20 years it's been for me "a hard nut to crack."  In New York City it was easy to just strike up a conversation with people I'd never met and would never meet again.  Many French consider this type of interaction "superficial" or "invasive."

Inspired by this website I decided to find my way to create openings on Valentine's Day.  The key is "when in France do like the French,"  or learn to respect their ways and their limits. 

I went to Paris and searched for hours, a woman on a mission, to find just the right chocolate hearts.  The last "maison du chocolat" or chocolate store on my list had them.  Small chocolate hearts, a beautiful deep red color, filled with dark chocolate, carmel and a touch of fine liqueur.   Quality rather than quantity goes with the French sensibility.

On February 14,  I left my home early in the morning armed with my hearts.  I was on the way to officially register to be an entrepreneur, my Valentine gift to myself.  I debated, should I give a heart to the bus driver who kindly told me after half an hour ride which stop I should get off at?   I had learned that people here feel more easily aggressed by a stranger approaching them.  I observed how the bus driver made very quick stops on his long route.  I took the time to feel that he would indeed be likely to feel bothered by this woman offering something he didn't understand.  So I didn't offer him a heart.   I just thanked him and wished him a good day.  I was proud of myself I could make this distinction.

At the government office I was greeted by the young man who was the receptionist.  I asked by way of introduction to my offering, "do you like chocolate?"  Oh yes, he replied.  I promptly gave him my first heart and he smiled more broadly.  

Then I was called into the bureaucrat's office who would officially register me as entrepreneur.   After the process was complete I offered him a heart with my same phrase, "do you like chocolate?"  This opened up a whole discussion of how we celebrate Valentine's Day in America and how it's celebrated in France.   Another opening.

The next government office I needed to also visit was at the City Hall in Versailles.   With my opening "do you like chocolate?"  the woman behind the desk immediately lit up.  When she saw the perfect red heart she expressed her surprise and her delight.  Hers was the most "classically French" response, the kind I love, of appreciating the culinary arts and waxing eloquent on the subject.

I then dropped by the creperie to make reservations for dinner for my husand and myself.  I gave out 3 red hearts, to the husband and wife, both owners and cooks and to their assistant.  They called me "sweetie" and when we showed up later for dinner they offered us some cider on the house, saying "we're sweet with those who are sweet with us."  

On the way home I stopped by my favorite sandwich, "panini" shop and offered a heart to the owner.  He truly couldn't understand and said that he already had a Valentine, his wife.  I explained that in America the people you like can all be your Valentines.   He smiled and carefully wrapped up his heart in aluminum foil to be savored later.

My French husband was happy to hear my stories.  It used to be he would become embarrassed by the way I approach strangers.  But he understood that I had found an opening that could be appreciated by the French, had not imposed my way on them and had bridged the two cultures.

Do you like chocolate?  An opportunity to say yes to receiving.  Yes to Valentine's Day.  Yes to connecting with people you don't know.  Yes to living in a foreign culture and being authentically who you are.

An American in Versailles.