Using Kindness to Hush the Noise Downstairs

--by Sajha, posted Jul 29, 2011

Several years ago my young daughter and I moved into the upstairs apartment where we now live. While my loving, wonderful friends helped me move in, the downstairs neighbors began to complain about the noise. That did not bode well for living above them. After all, how can anyone move in quietly?

As I suspected, the complaints continued on a daily basis -- well after that initial day. We walked "too loudly" down the stairs, we flushed the toilet too much ... Their child had problems with my child and they complained to me as well.

I soon learned that they had driven out the last few families who had lived above them and that each situation had erupted into feuds and yelling. So, I had the information I needed and I tried to think of the situation from a spiritual point of view. I realized that I could fight with my neighbors, making myself a pain to the apartment's management as well, or I could simply not engage at that level.

I prayed for the strength to walk in peace. Whenever they called or came to the door with a complaint, no matter how ridiculous, I simply listened and acknowledged that I heard them. It was kind of funny watching their confused reactions. They simply couldn't get a negative reaction out of me.

Of course, at times it was tough to keep my equilibrium but my daughter and I persevered. I told my daughter that we were going to be pleasant and allow them to sit by themselves in their own troubled situation. I explained to my daughter that they were very unhappy people and probably felt powerless in their lives. As a result they were always looking for a fight.

I continued smiling and greeting them as I saw them, much to their confusion. On more than one occasion, I ended up helping them. They thanked me but they didn't really know what to think of it.

Unable to get a rise out of me, they began tormenting the management and eventually wrote a long letter detailing some rather serious trumped up charges. Like previous tenants before us, they were determined to get rid of us!

I kept praying and did not give in to my desire to knock on their door and then spray them with a hose when they answered it. :) Instead, I was very pleasant to management and honestly expressed my being totally at a loss as how to deal with them. I also had to go through their list of charges and explain that they were simply not true.

Well, that evidently did the trick. Management let me know that there was nothing I need do; that they would handle it.

They never told me how they handled it. All I know is the next time I saw my neighbors they were all smiles and friendliness. It totally caught me off guard but I smiled back and we had a brief but pleasant conversation.

Ever since then they have been very pleasant neighbors. I've gotten to know them better and to even enjoy their dogs and their sense of humor. They are more social and less angry and defensive and no longer isolate themselves from the community.

Recently I even had an interesting conversation about spirituality with the man. After talking for several minutes the man said, "So you're one of those spiritual types, huh?" I smiled and said, "Since birth!" He nodded and said, "Yeah, I thought you were."

I seriously wonder if the strategy of kindness could be used between the nations? What if instead of retaliating, we reached out with kindness, especially to the helpless people of those nations, who have nothing to do with their leaders' politics. I'm not saying I know how to do it, and it seems complicated, but is there a way?

Blessings to you all.

12.7K Reads

Posted by Sajha
Jul 29, 2011
Comments (20)

Readers Comments

Glowworm wrote: God bless you for not rising to their bait. It's so easy to flair up, get angry and get even. You took the higher road.

You make me think of an old friend of mine, Sarah D. She went through some very trying times, some of them involving dishonest people. She is always all smiles and kindness to everyone, though. It seems God has given you both a sweet spirit. I wish you could meet. Sounds like you two would get along :)

God bless.

-"G."

Sajha wrote: Thank you, Gilgenbach, for your kind words. And your friend, Sarah, sounds like a lovely person, as do you. I sure did feel angry sometimes, but I'm so glad I let the situation play out. Things are so much more positive around here, now. God's blessings, Light and Love, Sajha

MakeSomeoneSmile wrote: Bless you for changing the world with your kindness, starting with your challenging neighbors! :)

annjav wrote: What a nice example of not engaging in their troubled game of driving out the folks upstairs. I hope they are benefiting long-term from your kindness.

moral12 wrote: You handled that difficult situation with much care; i don't know that i would have done as well as you (the water hose sounded like a tempting idea! ) .

Glad that those folks finally came around, for whatever reason and you kept your chin up the whole time! Kudos to you!

paul wrote: Thanks a lot for your kindness to people.

It has really touch my heart.

God bless you

Sunitha wrote: "changing the world with your kindness"- never thought patience can be to this extent too. Learnt something and will try to practice it. Difficult. But no harm in practicing. You are great and kindly too. And appreciate you daughter to support your decision and stand by you to change them. God bless you both and your neighbors too.

Sunitha wrote: "changing the world with your kindness"- never thought that patience can be to this extent too. Learnt something and will try to practice it. Seems difficult, but there's no harm in practicing. You are great and kind. I appreciate your daughter to have supported your decision and stand by you to change them. God bless you both and your neighbors too.

Judy wrote: Your story reminded me of the quote from the dalai lama - my religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. I loved your story. Thanks for much for sharing it and for making the world a better place!

Mahesh wrote: Fabulous! Unbelievable that suc+h a patience can be practiced. One thing is certain though, it c+an bring su+ch miraculous results. Between nations,hum, i thimnk it is too ambitious.

Stories of Kindness from Around the World