One of my intentions for 2011 was to continue surrounding myself with a community of individuals that helped bring the best out in me. By the end of 2011, naturally and serendipitously, I was introduced to group of individuals that gets together one Wednesday per month to meditate and discuss a passage.
After my second month of joining this great group of individuals, I sat down with a couple of the organizers, to get to know one and other better. What I assumed would be a lighthearted getting to know one and other session, became an a heartfelt discussion with presence.
It felt like a therapy session. I poured my heart and soul into my confusions and challenges with figuring out my next steps with life and they listened and communicated so openly. They felt like long lost elder brothers giving me guidance.
While one of them was leaving, he gave me a bag of these delicious cookies and told me I need to give them out. Later on, the other one provided me with these cards that say “Smile. You’ve just been tagged!”
***
At around 12:30 AM Thursday morning, I began my expedition to give out cookies to strangers in NYC. I I first offered a cookie to the front desk security guard, he looked in the bag and took the biggest cookie he could find and said thank you. I thought well that’s the biggest cookie in the bag, that’s a bit selfish. Nonetheless, I smiled and was happy to give him a cookie.
Lesson 1: Mind = Autopilot. I noticed my mind is on autopilot! Even when I was trying to give out a bag of cookies, I was judging the receivers! Although, I was happy to give the cookie, I still had expectations: What cookie will they take? A big one? A small one? A couple? How will they respond? With gratitude? Indifference? Skepticism?
I offered another cookie to this woman standing at the desk, she declined by saying “I don’t eat cookies, but thank you.” I smiled and laughed in my head.
Lesson 2: Not Everyone Wants Cookies (Rejection). I had a feeling some people would think it was odd that a random man was giving them cookies. Here were my assumptions of other people: They would think I put ruffis in the cookies. They would think there was a catch. Women would think I was hitting on them. At the end of the day, everyone had a different view of receiving a cookie — no one view was more correct than the other.
Lesson 3: Persistence. During my cab ride home, I offered the driver a cookie. He declined. I offered again. He declined. I offered again. He declined. I offered again. He accepted and said, “thank you, thank you very much, thank you very much, Sir.” I am not sure why I was so persistent, but I had a feeling he wanted a cookie but was being really kind.
The next morning, I had a bag of at least 15 cookies left. I thought to myself, how am I going to get rid of these cookies. For some reason I started the morning thinking it might be difficult to give away cookies.
I gave one out to a lady picking oranges from the grocery store. She was glowing and excited. I was glowing.
I got to the 1 station at 23rd and 7th, I offered one to the station agent. He started laughing and smiling from ear-to-ear, but he declined. I felt amazing. I had made someone smile and laugh.
I began offering cookies to people on the uptown subway. I got some strange looks, a couple rejections and a couple laughs and smiles. I felt amazing.
I gave some out at an acting studio in midtown. The actors could not have been happier.
Lesson 4: Confidence. Giving away cookies, gave me confidence. Every time I would try to give a cookie, I would be scared of being rejected. But, the interesting thing was that every time I gave a cookie — whether accepted or not — I received something different: a laugh, a feeling of happiness, a sense of friendship with strangers and confidence to give more.
Lesson 5: The more I give, the happier I will be? I think so 
- Posted by KP
- Jan 23, 2012
- Comments (39)
Readers Comments
My whole body smiled when i red this! I plan to bake some cookies and give them away!
Yummm!
I am somewhat of a loner so it's hard for me to put myself out there and begin a conversation, and even to take it up again the next time i see them, but i've had so many of the same observations. Judging, fear of rejection, but mostly elation at seeing how it seems to brighten their day, and, oddly enough (lol), end up tremendously adding to my own. Why is it so hard? Mostly it's just habit, the habit of keeping to myself. Takes effort to break.
As a high school student, i learned from a program that i was involved with the red cross called “the good samaritan”, the value of giving. Separately, my father was the most abundantly open giver i have ever met. Those lessons i will never forget. So, the essence of life is support and giving. We discover ourselves from those actions. Without them there is only war or nothingness. Thank you for the cookie story!
Matty: i hear you. Fear of rejection is such fascinating thing and very powerful. I think you are right -- it is a matter of habit. I love the quote that says, thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions lead to habits, habits lead to character, character leads to destiny. I am hoping that little bit little, i can breakdown some of my fears.
