The Gift of an Apology

--by Mish, posted Aug 1, 2013

For awhile, every time I saw my next door neighbor, I feel remorse and shame. A little while back, I had harshly reacted to him when he did something that upset me.

But this is wonderful, as it has taught me to be mindful of my "reactivity," and reminded me of the high price I pay when I am reactive instead of proactive.

After sitting with the discomfort for a bit, I finally apologized to him for any harm from my reaction towards his behavior. He noticed my tears as I spoke, so I guess he knew that I was sincere in expressing my regret.

Now, as time continues to pass by, I feel less and less awkward when we bump into each other (which is often, given that we share a driveway :)).

The thing to note here is that, when we spoke, I did not apologize for not liking what he did (because I honestly didn't like it :)). Rather, I apologized for the way I reacted.

So, in this experience, my own discomfort from my reactive behavior brought forth the gift of proactive mindulness.

Now, all is well between my neighbor and I, and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to learn this lesson. :)

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Posted by Mish
Aug 1, 2013
Comments (9)

Readers Comments

Dobby wrote: Well, you wanted to tackle this particular weakness, so God's granting your wish. Apparently, He feels you need a big, flashing, neon-sign-post-it-note type of reminder. LOL!

He doesn't do that to me, I have a way of tuning those out. Instead He regularly whacks me upside my head. That ALWAYS gets my attention!

jsmc10 wrote: im glad that you didn't apologise for something that hurt you but well done for apologising for the reaction :)

FairyBubbles wrote: Good move forward Mish - but forgive yourself.

denisemj wrote: If a test is failed in my life, I have learned it does come around again, but the test is harder. Always Happy when passed, so i can move forward in life.
Smiles :):)

Mish wrote: I do forgive myself but am still annoyed at myself for "slipping"..... I know better! :)))

bluxess wrote: He was planted your way for an aversion to surface up. Experience the aversion within Mushie Pie. You can take all your time to get it out but may the peaceful connection happen one step at a time. A very Vipassana language :-))))) Hope you had a lovely time at your friends' birthday get-togethers.

FLORENCE wrote: Hey! Mish cheer up why are you suspicious the neighbor had already forgiven you, you must move on with your life.

Mish wrote: Florence, we both moved on & all is good between us. :). Was never "suspicious" (? ) . Just remorseful about my reactive reaction. Thank you.

starryskies wrote: Thanks so much for this honest, heartfelt share! I appreciate your mindful awareness and courage. It really is a wonderful gift you gave to him, to you, and now to us. Hugs and love to you. :)

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