Allowing others the opportunity to go first

--by gvish59, posted Sep 13, 2013

I live in Bangalore, India, where the traffic is heavy for most of the day, and drivers can be pretty relentless.

When I was in Singapore about seven years ago, I stepped off the curb and quickly jumped back upon seeing a car. To my amazement, the car stopped.

I waited.

So did the car.

Then, the driver waved at me to cross. That was a defining moment for me. That a pedestrian was more important than the car-- something we are just not used to in India.

Now, I try to slow down as often as possible and allow pedestrians to cross, or even to invite another car to go ahead of me. And I always wave when someone gives me space to go ahead.

These are small courtesies, but something that makes me feel good about creating a small moment of 'feeling good' for the other person.

In fact, another way of creating goodwill is at airport queues or the train station. I've found that the moment I step aside for someone in a hurry, they are invariably thankful, and often give me a smile or offer back what I've offered them. There is an instant connection when we offer space for others.

In a busy world that is often seen as insensitive and harsh, the very same people will smile back at us when we offer a kind gesture. Taking the time to give others the chance to go first makes these small moments of connection that brighten my day.

1824 Reads

Posted by gvish59
Sep 13, 2013
Comments (6)

Readers Comments

josienutter wrote: What a lovely insight! It is a thing that begins at a very young age that to be first is to win. I don't believe that is always the case. It is a blessing to see those around you smile and succeed. That is true winning. It is also something that is hard to see at the "front of the line". Maybe that's why we don't have eyes in the back of our heads; so we take the time to share the space and have to turn around to see the people around us.

denisemj wrote: This is wonderful traffic/ pedestrian kindness! Keep the smiles coming :)

11888 wrote: I know how busy bangalore can be, and its sometimes really stressing to drive or to be a pedestrian around here. What you are doing is amazing, and kudos to you my friend. Little changes in our lives, impacts the world in different subtle ways.

jsmc10 wrote: I'm so glad that this driver was courteous and that you are now following in his footsteps :) hopefully you will do this for someone and they will start doing it too, spreading the kindness :)

Dobby wrote: Good reminder to us drivers! You know, the problem you see in India is all over, esp. in the US (depending on the area and city). Such drivers, no matter what country they're from suffer from the same thing: self-centeredness which can happen the more "busy" and rushed we get. Great reminder to slow down!

Mish wrote: We were on the coast of Maine a few years ago &, coming from NYC, we were shocked (& so pleased!) to see that drivers always stopped for pedestrians! It took us a while to get used to it! :))

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