Stories of Kindness from Around the World

How My Father Taught Me Non-Violence


--by Arun Gandhi, posted Sep 18, 2007
I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and had no neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.

One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town, my father ask me to take care of several pending chores, such as getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning, he said, 'I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together.'

After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to the garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00. He anxiously asked me, 'Why were you late?' I was so ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, 'The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait,' not realizing that he had already called the garage. When he caught me in the lie, he said: 'There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where I went wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it.'

So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go through this agony for a stupid lie that I uttered.

I decided then and there that I was never going to lie again. I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me the way we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson at all. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone on doing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday. That is the power of non-violence.
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Readers Comments

denim1951 wrote: That is very moving and it makes me think about how I was raised. Sometimes my family taught me in a non violent way too. Thank you for your story. Appreciated it very much.
libbyza wrote: i loved it so much, I simply had to copy it to my blog with full credits. I know it will be inspirational to others as it inspired me.
lovebug wrote: I AM FIRMLY IN YOUR CAMP. NON VIOLENCE IS THE WAY TO GO. YOUR FATHERS 5 1/2 MILE WALK, TAUGHT YOU MORE THEN ALL THE PUNISHMENT OF OUR WORLD TODAY
warmth wrote: ur father is a great man. He was wise to help u learn a lesson like this. Thank u for sharing it here. I too have a learnt a great lesson. GOD BLESS U and pls my regards to ur father. :)
babynurse wrote: I loved your story! Thank you for sharing it.I too raised my children in a non violent way, but I was never as wise as your father.That was a great lesson. God Bless you.
JuneBug wrote: I absolutely loved this story...Your father loves you very much to do what he did...
Tigerlily wrote: Amazing. Amazing grace. Amazing love. Amazing patience. Wow. It leaves me speechless. Truly you are blessed to have such a father. Thank you for sharing this story... we all might learn something from such a wise man.
akbj wrote: Wow... Your father is an amazing parent. What a way to learn a lesson. I don't have children, but I was one once, & can't even begin to fathom how painful, & how spectacular a lessonyou must have learned. All children lie, of course, but few parents would have walked 18 miles to help them like your father did. What a story.
Shakey wrote: Actions speak volumes. Gandhi was a man of action, and his words, profound and wise.
sathsath wrote: Your leniage to father of our nation, mahatma gandhi and his absolute teachings showed in your story.I am pleased with renued intrest amoungst our tired, directionless indian youth,via boolywood media

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