Confronting Road Rage With Compassion
--by Megan, posted Oct 26, 2007
He then swings around in front of me and jams on his brakes. I go around him and he gives me the finger and mouths a couple of bad words through the window. I blow him a kiss. He gives me the finger again with even more ferocity and some more dirty mouth-mime.
We get stopped at the next light, side by side and he rolls down his window. I roll down mine. He is a well-groomed, professional looking guy in his 40s. Could have been a lawyer or a doctor or a dad or a teacher. He was driving a newish, nice looking mid-size SUV. "F*&% you," he says, "You think that you can just pull out into traffic with that Volvo like an a**hole."
Those words didn't make a lot of sense to me, but he probably didn't anticipate having to face me at the stoplight and couldn't think of anything else to say.
I hadn't done anything wrong, and I knew it. He knew it too."You should write a driving manual," I say. "A**hole," he repeats. I say, "You know, life will go a lot more smoothly for you if you treat other people with love and kindness instead of anger and hate."
Without skipping a beat, but with a noticeable change in tone, he says, "You're right. You really are. I apologize. I'm sorry."
With that the windows go up, the light turns green, and we pull away.
My blood was pumping from the encounter. I was jolted by the encounter, but couldn't tell if it was the fact that someone would treat me so badly for absolutely no reason or if it was my complete surprised when my words had such a direct and powerful effect on him. Those words just came out of me, naturally, and without thought or planning or with the goal of teaching this guy the error of his ways. Those words just came out.
Later on, after my workout, I wondered who had taught who a lesson there at that stoplight. Had I taught him in that tiny instant that love and kindness were more powerful than hate and anger? Or had he taught me that lesson? The answer, of course is that we taught each other that lesson.
So it is true, just like they say in the books and tapes: treat the good person with kindness and the bad person with kindness, because your essential nature IS kindness.
You are the other person. You are consciousness.
So, one could simply say, "give me a break as i want the best for you" or "give me a break and i promise you i will return your gesture with love. "
I think it might be useful if others could send in their phrasing. This is very persuasive and brings a sense of calm in the storm of verbal disagreement, does it not?
Thanks for sharing!
Hats off to you.