Stories of Kindness from Around the World

For the Man Who Hated Christmas


--by Ben Lawder, posted Dec 20, 2008

[ Note: This story below was written by Nancy Gavin and originally published in the December 14, 1982 issue of Woman's Day magazine. You can watch a video of this story here.]

It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past ten years or so.
 

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it--overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma---the gifts given in desperation because you couldn’t think of anything else.
 

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.
 

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler’s ears.
 

It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn’t acknowledge defeat.
 

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, “I wish just one of them could have won,” he said. “They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.” Mike loved kids - all kids - and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That’s when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition--one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.
 

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.
 

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn’t end there.

You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.
 

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing to take down the envelope.
 

Mike’s spirit, like the Christmas spirit will always be with us.

 

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Readers Comments

megumi wrote: What a wonderful story. Hope you don't mind I linked this to several people in my family.
May the God of all Peace be with you daily.
makesomeonesmile wrote: What a great story, thanks for sharing. I think that is an awesome idea and I may borrow it for my family!
lmil1954 wrote: What you did was a gift from God. And you, my friend are truly blessed. I'm so sorry on the loss of your husband. He was an inspriation to your children. And so are you! Thank you for sharing your story.
LindaM
retrogal wrote: What a lovely tradition started by you for your husband, and now carried on by your children. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story, and best wishes for a beautiful Christmas.
sanserif wrote: I am deeply moved. What a lovely story! I am sure your family tradiiton will remain alive, not just for mike's sake, but because you really believe in the power of making someone happy. God bless you all!
laurina wrote: What an inspiration you are to your children and others! How moving that they, too, embraced your "gift"! What a family! Thanks for sharing this!
rabia wrote: oh great work done by you and your followers. i am really moved by this.
katlampi wrote: This is the sweetest thing ever! I would like to start enacting a tradition like this with my own family members -- your kindness has inspired me greatly! Thank you for sharing this! God Bless!
kathy2 wrote: Wow...I was so touched by your story...I know my will not be the only family who will adopt your wonderful tradition this year and all that follow! Here's to you and your Mike! What an inspiration, thank you from all of us whom you shared your wonderfilled story with.
TammyG wrote: I am so touched by your story. As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I remember my mom and mother in law and all the love they had to share on Christmas. They are with the Lord now, like your beloved Mike. May you be Blessed in so many ways and Thank you for sharing. God Bless!

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