Stories of Kindness from Around the World

A Gift For My Father


--by sahaja, posted Nov 29, 2007
Today, I am feeling for my father.  Its been 11 years since I've been married, since I left home. 

I want to confess that I have had a very troubled childhood.  Though born in an educated family, I had to  survive my mother's sudden death when I was five and the temper of my father.  My father was a very very short tempered man, though by heart he was not bad.  I had one big brother (two years elder), and my father used to beat us very badly for very small things.

After a year of mother's accident, he remarried.  My second mother also had two children of her own, and she controlled the whole house and my father.  Though she was not that bad, she was partial with me ... may be because I was not that good looking.  Even if my younger step-sister would abuse me, my father would scold me for that.  She always got what she wanted but I had to be satisfied with whatever I got.  My father never paid heed to this at that time.

Now, my father is an old man.  He is still egoistic but recalls some of the incidents of the pasts (which I have forgotten) where wrong things were done to me and tries to be as nice to me as possible.  Still, in the last 11 years of my marriage, I have never gifted him anything for his birthday or on any other occasion. 

So this coming birthday, I want to give him a good present.

This change has occurred to me because of this website.  Thank you all, for sharing.
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Readers Comments

Alraisi wrote: First of all sorry to hear that you lost your mom. I know how hard it can be. About your father let me tell you something. " Even a Black Spot Was White Once ". So he might have done some bad things which might made you think he is not a good father. But he is he will always be there for you when you need him I'm sure about it. He might done these things only to protect you from something else. Because when parents do some bad thing like beating their children they do it only because they love them...!!!
About gifting your father. It is such a wonderful thing you would do. I guarentee you 100% that when you do this your father will cry and tell you something which will make your life change a lot specially it will change your ideas about him. Please when you gift him something make it simple it is better and give him a Smile Card too. Please tell me when you do it. Keep It Up...!!!
Alraisi...
tigerlily wrote: Oh dear... Forgiveness is such a beautiful thing! Hanging on to anger and resentment is self-destructive! Forgiveness will set you free! As God freely forgives us and we are not worthy.... so, we should forgive others. And only good can come of such love!!!! God Bless you!
AURELIA wrote: I'm so happy for you. Getting to this point in your life where you can forgive and want to forgive is a blessing. Yes, Forgiveness will set you free and your relationship with your dad will grow more dear. I'm so happy for you. Make him something if you can, whether you bake him a cake or a really nice card you made yourself would be so nice. Good for you. ~Aurelia
inspiringstories wrote: I'm so happy you spotted on this Web site, and it has given you an idea to be kind for your father who you have resentments with. That act of gift giving will bridge the gap between you and your father.

God bless you!
wayfarer wrote: As a dad who has been less than perfect I have tears in my eyes. As parents we are expected to be perfect but sometimes we are trapped by our own upbringing, our own fears and inadequacies. It sounds like he is trying to apologise in his own limited way.
Sometimes we need someone to break the circle of hurt and because its you, the victim of this hurt, that's doing it, well, that just makes you a hero!
Kind4Ever wrote: We should love generously.
God bless you....
lOVEBUG wrote: Forgiveness is the begging of all blessings. It opens the heart, and the love heals old wounds.
sanserif wrote: The upcoming birthday will be the best your father has ever had. And it will remain special for you as well. We always have stereotypical images of how our parents should be and behave and when there is a mismatch, we are disappointed. Your father might have hurt you but there is no doubt that he must have always loved you. Go ahead! Gift him something and light up his day. All of us Help Others send out our wishes too. Please tell us what you gifted him. And three cheers to you to for letting go of the past and forgiving your dad. Not an easy thing to do. You are amazing!!
mermangel wrote: Not only is your forgiveness a gift for him it is a gift for you. It s the lifting of an emotional burden, a fresh breeze blowing and the possibility of wonderful things happening. Over the last three years I have experienced (and caused) great pain within my family and I have also experienced the momentous power and freedom of forgiveness. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring others to maybe have the mighty power within themselves to forgive. There may be no stronger power in this because forgiveness is so closely bound to Love. So Love yourself enough to forgive and reclaim your life from a the past. "THERE ARE NO JUSTIFIABLE RESENTMENTS" Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. That might be difficult to accept (it was for me for a long time) but it is the key to opening up a world of joy for anyone long suffering the effects of an unhappy childhood. For anyone in pain, relinquish it to forgivenss and let yourself live a fulllife m,aybe for the first time.
anwahs wrote: It can be really hard to deal with abuse. I know. It is very good of you to finally forgive him, now that you have done so YOUR healing can begin. If you want to send a great gift, show him this web site or give him some smile cards! Seasons best to you and yours

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