When I had breast cancer I had to have a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation (the works). The hardest part of that entire experience was losing my hair. I have strawberry blonde wavy hair down to the middle of my back which I have always considered one of my most attractive features.
What was hard about losing my hair, though, was that I lost my anonymity with it. After I lost my hair it was like having a tattoo across my forehead that said "chemo patient." I am a very active, athletic person so to have people looking at me with pity as if I was an invalid or a leper was very hard to take. Of course they never said anything, but if I got in an elevator everyone looked away because they didn't know what to say. I didn't blame them, God knows I've done the same thing myself, but it did add insult to the injury I was already dealing with.
The best compliment I ever received was when I was at work one day, wearing my scarf over my bald head, and the UPS guy came in to deliver a package. He looked me right in the eyes and said, "So, are you on chemo?" I said, "Yes, thank you for asking, you are the first person to actually acknowledge that fact." It felt so good to be talked to like a "real" person, without any pity, just the facts, no big deal. I asked him what made him decide to say something and he told me that a woman he works with had just gone through the same thing several months ago.
I had some "gag" business cards that said my job title was "Supreme Commander of the Universe" so whenever this same UPS guy would come in the office to deliver a package he would always say, "Hey, Supreme Commander, how is it going?" My company moved the office to a different building on the other side of town and I hadn't seen the UPS guy in probably 2 years (I think his name was Bryan, I'm not even sure).
I went to answer my door at home one day and there was Bryan with a package. Small world. And do you know what he said? "Hey, Supreme Commander, long time no see!" He sees so many people all day long every day delivering packages but he remembered me after 2 years. What a great compliment! Of course, I remembered him, too, because he was the only person who could see me during that time when I was "the invisible woman."
What was hard about losing my hair, though, was that I lost my anonymity with it. After I lost my hair it was like having a tattoo across my forehead that said "chemo patient." I am a very active, athletic person so to have people looking at me with pity as if I was an invalid or a leper was very hard to take. Of course they never said anything, but if I got in an elevator everyone looked away because they didn't know what to say. I didn't blame them, God knows I've done the same thing myself, but it did add insult to the injury I was already dealing with.
The best compliment I ever received was when I was at work one day, wearing my scarf over my bald head, and the UPS guy came in to deliver a package. He looked me right in the eyes and said, "So, are you on chemo?" I said, "Yes, thank you for asking, you are the first person to actually acknowledge that fact." It felt so good to be talked to like a "real" person, without any pity, just the facts, no big deal. I asked him what made him decide to say something and he told me that a woman he works with had just gone through the same thing several months ago.
I had some "gag" business cards that said my job title was "Supreme Commander of the Universe" so whenever this same UPS guy would come in the office to deliver a package he would always say, "Hey, Supreme Commander, how is it going?" My company moved the office to a different building on the other side of town and I hadn't seen the UPS guy in probably 2 years (I think his name was Bryan, I'm not even sure).I went to answer my door at home one day and there was Bryan with a package. Small world. And do you know what he said? "Hey, Supreme Commander, long time no see!" He sees so many people all day long every day delivering packages but he remembered me after 2 years. What a great compliment! Of course, I remembered him, too, because he was the only person who could see me during that time when I was "the invisible woman."
5633 Reads
- Posted by hollynamaste
- Feb 27, 2015
- Comments (14)
Readers Comments
Mish wrote: What a powerful post ....gave me tears & chills..... Love your post. So much to think about here. Took the cancer trip with my sister.....it is a powerful spiritual transformation. That is wild, that you & the UPS guy reconnected & that he remembered !
mindyjourney wrote: Beautiful share on how to take notice and be kind. Thank you and continued good health.
chalkblue wrote: I found myself taking a great in-breath as I read your story. It is truly "inspiring". How often have I not wanted to comment on meeting someone obviously going through chemo -- going back to childhood conditioning on not making personal remarks, I am sure. But how right to acknowledge someone just as they are. Thank you for sharing.
drdspg wrote: What a wonderful story. I do hope you are keeping well and continue to do so. Thinking of you. I did manage to get a few moments of laughter when my hair fell out, i wore lycra hats and when i first saw my four year old nephew whilst wearing one, he looked me up and down and said " why have you got that purple thing on your head? " . My sister and i collapsed laughing!
balou wrote: Thank you for your great post! . Not talking about it does not make it less realistic, vice versa. I always diddn't want to understand why everybody in such situations is acting as if nothing happened. But it's their own protection. They do mean well. But people like your ups guy do make the day! And i really like that you met again. And he remembered. :-)
KindMyst wrote: Well, that is one heck of a good human, ups person for noticing you. I see how his presence and acknowledgment meant for you. And i am so glad your paths crossed again. I can see your beautiful hair as you describe it and i can see your beautiful spirit. One way i have changed about how i go thru live is to not look away and to make the best effort to always notice.
sandyremillar wrote: I just read everybody's comments but nobody mentioned the following: don't you think it's too much a coincidence with the ups guy? I'm inclined to believe it was an angel.
Sending you angels to fill every cell of your body and other bodies with light!
Sending you angels to fill every cell of your body and other bodies with light!
KnitNana4 wrote: I just wrote a comment but when i hit submit it said - "error - i had already submitted a comment" - which i hadn't - and now i don't see my comment. Why is that? Thanx -
acfonte wrote: Brave story of a visible telationship.
Colleen wrote: Thanks for this post. I also have wavy strawberry blond hair which i am about to lose to chemo. You have trod the path before me, and gathering strength from your post, i feel i can manage the emotions of the loss to come. Thanks for sharing your experience.
