--by mermangel, posted Nov 30, 2008
This might not seem like such a big deal to someone who doesn't know me or my "story", but for my husband and I and our family it is huge.
After nearly ten years of ongoing emotional battles with my husband's ex-wife, we had determined over the last year that we were finished and ready to move on. Over the past year, in most instances we have simply made concessions to her and my step-son regarding visitation changes and the like, to promote harmony and to stay focused on the positive as we try to raise our two biological children as well.
Although this was "our" year to have my step-son for Thanksgiving his mother asked if he could come to her mother's home to have dessert after finishing his meal with our family. After asking him if it was what he desired, my husband agreed to this. Although it is not typical for him to "share" the holidays between families it was what he wanted and we were supportive of this.
So, when his mother came to pick him up, my husband handed him a large platter of brownies to share with his mother's family for Thanksgiving dessert. We could sense that he was slightly taken aback as he said "Wow, that was nice," knowing full well the animosity that had existed between his parents for as long as he could remember (at 15).
As we was leaving, his father said to him, "In the spirit of the season of giving and thanks we wanted to share something with them." I have no delusions that this will herald some landmark change in his mother's seemingly unchanging position of opposition, but it certainly felt good to see this previously "in the middle" kid feel good for once about the effort that his father was putting forth to make peace.
Good luck x