11 Years Without a Single Complaint
--by Wotserface, posted Jun 18, 2008
I met my husband (my 2nd) back in 1997 at a colleague's wedding. We immediately hit it off and saw each other regularly. I told him all about my having IIH, and what it involved as well as the worst case scenario, which is blindness. I was also at the time a single parent to an 8 year old daughter.
Although in some ways we were total opposites, we shared the same humour, values and ideas, and within a year we were married. It was the most fantastic day, and I don't know who cried more, myself or my husband. He became a fantastic husband, and father to my daughter (the only one she's ever known), and life was good to us.
Two years on, due to my IH I lost my peripheral vision and depth perception. After having an Lp shunt to prevent total blindness, my mobility was severely affected, as the shunt is inserted into your spine and then through to your abdomen.
Once independent and active, I now could only just manage to work, but needed special equipment to do so. Household tasks were impossible and walking and sitting for long periods of time a struggle.
My husband who worked up to an 80 hour week as a chef, had to take on all the household duties, decorate alone, washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning anything you can think of. He took it all on without complaint. This man had been a carefree bachelor until he was 27, and in a short time became a husband, a father. Now he was also running a household.
When I was registered partially sighted, and also by then, had to walk with a cane, my husband continued to happily be supportive and take care of things with no complaint. When I was early retired due to my health, he kept my spirits and optimism high and encouraged me in my desire to help other sufferers.
In the past 2 years I have had 17 surgeries, 3 bouts of meningitis, 3 staph infections, MRSA, and ventriculitis which put me in a coma for 4 days. Most of these put me quite close to death. For every surgery and hospital stay, my husband has been there every step of the way. He visited me everyday, was there when I came round from surgery, and made sure everyone was informed of my progress, while still working, running the house, and taking care of our daughter. He would also bring things in for other patients, who were on the same ward as me. To thank the nurses, each time for their care, he brought them all a meal in and chocolates and a card to let them know how grateful he was that they were taking good care of me.
Still, he doesn't complain, even when he lost his job, because of the time he had off to care for me. Everday he brings me my meals and my medications, then he gets on with the running of the house, even managing to go and do odd jobs for his parents, and a neighbour.
We have been together for 11 years, and in all that time not once has he bemoaned his lot, or the fact we couldn't have children because of my illness. He has never been bitter or felt hard done by, and when I apologise to him for not having the life I thought we would, he simply says " I love you! This isn't just your illness it's ours, we're in it together".
He is one of the most giving and helpful people I have ever known, and he never stops, and of course, all without complaining!
What a touching story, as i was reading i couldn't help but ask myself what goes on in such a persons mind,because such people are so inspiring, faced with so much adversity yet he comes through, i could only come up with the answer that he is contented with what he has and would'nt exchange it for a maountain full of gold, and for this he is a truly wealthy man..I hope and pray that you get better & i wish the three of you long,healthy,happy lives...thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day