Stories of Kindness from Around the World

Positive Side Effects of Helping Others


--by Nakamura216, posted Jun 30, 2008

My friend had mentioned the other day that her father had a lot of children's toys that he was looking to give away.  She knew that i have a three-year-old daughter so she thought of me first. I told her I would love it if I could get some nice things for my daughter, which I wouldn't otherwise have been able to afford.

When I met her father, he began to explain that he was poor once too and that he would hate to throw away things that can be very useful.  At first, he thought of taking everything to the Salvation Army but then he decided to see if anyone he knew could use these things first.

Before he showed me what he was giving away, I thought the toys would be mostly lego's or lincoln log's or things like that.  When he was showing me around I saw a bed, a slide, a kitchen set and many other things that just blew my mind.  He told me to write a list of everything my daughter could use and as my eyes were wide and beginning to tear up a bit he told me not to feel guilty.  He said that I was helping him by getting rid of the stuff.  

As I was looking around I did feel guilty, but I tried to remain more grateful than guilty because he told me too. Everytime I tried to thank him for giving me and my daughter all this wonderful stuff he would thank me right back. I wanted to believe that he was just thanking me so that I wouldn't feel so guilty but in reality I believe that he was as greatful as I was that these toys would be put to good use.

So, sometimes when we are helped by others, the others that helped us are helped as a side-effect.  In the eyes of charity, it makes sense to feel grateful, but guilt is just as normal.  I know that we could have lived without a slide, which is why I do feel guilty, but I am greatful all the same because my daughter really does enjoy all these nice things!

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Readers Comments

wayfarer wrote: Usually I'm pretty good with words, but I read this story and all I can think of is - "Wow!"
lOVEBUG wrote: Guilt is not normal, it is taught. Of all the human emotions, it is the most useless emotion, it changes nothing, is of no value to any living human. Only a dead human uses guilt to manipulate those around them. I crossed it out of my dictionary and have learned how to live
lmil1954 wrote: And the silver lining is guilt free. You didnt do anything wrong. You are grateful, and that was all that was required of you. What a blessing. Thanks for sharing your story! LindaM:)
JuneBug wrote: This story is so sweet on boths parts! You helped each other out and your little girl made out just as well! You have a big heart!!!
AURELIA wrote: This is wonderful. Do you know how rewarding it is for that man to give things to you and to see the items used and appreciated. Sometimes it is hard to part with things because of all the memories that are attached ...but you helped him and he helped you. Perfect ... RAOK extraordinaire!!!! Thanks for sharing. :) ~AURELIA
mitu915 wrote: it's true that even those who are giving, see it as a blessing. i have gradually come to realize that by feeling that when i have helped another, they feel good, and in turn i feel good too! quite true! :)
perseverance wrote: Excellent feel good factor while reading Thanks
mixmino wrote: it thanks for shearing.
katlampi wrote: You make an excellent point about the relationship between guilt and gratitude. As an offshoot of that, I think I often resist helping others because I fear the feelings it might create for myself or the recipient -- awkwardness, confusion, guilt, etc. Thank you for sharing this most excellent story! I am glad the toys were put to good use!
berglas wrote: The Pass It On Movement has begun www.ipassiton.org

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