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The Little Black Book

I met a work colleague of my husband's a few weeks ago and had forgotten just how hard he was on himself. He thinks he's stupid, ugly, unable to communicate, a bad parent, unable to control his temper and unlikely to amount to anything much in his life.  I found this to be a complete contrast to what I see when I look at him. He's caring, considerate, a good listener, very capable at work and a real family man who will sacrifice anything to give his loved ones the best.  After a few drinks I broached this subject of affirmations and told him I was going to write him a book of inspirational quotes to make him stop in his tracks and see what others see.  So, one long wet winter afternoon I sat with a little black notebook and put what I consider to be an inspiring quote on every ... Read Full Story >>

Are You a Carrot, an Egg or a Coffee Bean?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as if as soon as one problem was solved a new one arose.  Her mother took her to the kitchen. The mother filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots. In the second she placed eggs. And the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.  About twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she said, "Tell me what you ... Read Full Story >>

Power Of A Trashed Pencil

She was a janitor at a school in India.   Her husband died soon after her marriage, she didn't have any family in the area.  She struggled with the responsibility of raising her kids.  For the last twenty years, she's continued to sweep classrooms at local schools. One day, though, she had a radical idea:  I want to give.  It was followed-up by a reasonable yet confusing thought:  But what can I possibly give? When she narrated her desire to a friend, he told her a story.  "Gandhi used to write many letters.  One day, Kakasaheb Kalelkar, a famous Indian author, saw him writing with a tiny pencil and immediately offered Gandhi a bigger pencil from his pocket.  Gandhi politely said that he didn't need it.  The next day, he saw Gandhi scrambling to find his pencil and Kakasaheb again offered him a pencil saying, 'Your pencil was so small anyway.'  Gandhi gently ... Read Full Story >>

An Unexpected Light

"As I waited at a busy intersection in our city  for the red light to change to green,  I glanced left; seeing an elderly man groping about on the curb. He had fallen off of his motorized cart which had lurched a few yards ahead of him, and was crawling off the sidewalk onto the road to pick up his front basket ( which was now in the path of oncoming traffic). Without a second thought, I rushed over to help him to his feet, and although unsteady and shaken, I was able to walk him to his cart, and help him back onto the seat and reattach his basket. As he glanced up at me, he smiled and said, “Thank you.” I made sure that he was OK to continue on and then I returned to my car, which I had left at the intersection. Nobody was honking. They just stared at me. ... Read Full Story >>

My First Hug

  I consider myself one of the luckiest people I know.    I lost my biological mother when I was nine years old and when she was alive she was not much of a mother to me.    I met my step-mom for the first time when I moved to America to be reunited with my father. From the beginning she made sure to let me know that I was safe and welcome.    I remember when I first saw her at the airport. It was different but not uncomfortable. Over the past several years there is nothing I needed that she did not provide. I am the young woman I am today because she made sure to raise me properly.    Yesterday I went to see her for Mother’s Day. When I gave her my gifts she held my face in both of her hands and kissed me straight on the mouth - even though I had the ... Read Full Story >>

Next Generation of Kindness

I was with my kids at the grocery store.  They are 3 and 5.

We were doing our grocery shopping, when we saw a 75-80 year old lady in one of those motorized scooters, doing her shopping.  We saw that she was unable to reach something, so I reached it for her and she said, "Thank you."

The old lady also mentioned there were other things she was unable to get because she was confined to her scooter.   So my 5 year old son spontaneously tells her, "Oh, we can help you get the rest of your groceries." 

And we did.  We went through the whole store with her, until she had all that she needed.  When we finished, the woman blessed us and told me that it was nice to see that little ones still have manners. 

As we finished our own grocery shopping, I felt so very proud to know my children will not be selfish people.

Snail Mail Surprises

I keep scissors handy on my sofa side table to clip interesting articles and coupons that my friends & family may like. Once a week, I sort them into different piles and send it thru the mail to distribute. I received many thank you's for the interesting articles, so I started to clip out funny cartoons, inspirational stories, share poems and pick up stick-um's and other surprise goodies too!  I stuff them into the letters especially if I know the person needs a pick-me-up ... it's fun and not expensive at all ... and everyone loves the "snail mail surprises." Lastly, when I sort thru the mail, I pull  out the Two for One coupon restaurant deals, additional savings coupon or certificates from department stores, etc. I keep them in a envelope and if I don't need it, I make sure to pass out to other friends and co-workers for their use before expiration dates. I recently snail-mail ... Read Full Story >>

How Heavy Is Your Bag?

One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes.  For every person we’d refuse to forgive in our life, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag.  Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were quite heavy.

We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week, putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work.

The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing places.

Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime.  This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity!

Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and while that’s true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves!

So the next time you decide you can’t forgive someone, ask yourself… Isn’t MY bag heavy enough?

 - from www.pravsworld.com

Birthday Party In A Box

Annie, a neighbor's daughter, was away for her first semester at college this past school year. She is a very sweet girl but just a bit shy. When her birthday month came around I found out she was feeling a bit blue and lonely.   Her family is quite small and finances are tight so there wouldn't be any birthday visitors.     I wanted to send her a card and maybe a small gift to brighten her day a bit. I got her school address from her Mom and planned to simply pick something up and send it. Then I got an idea!     I thought perhaps a bit more birthday cheer was needed here. I bought some balloons, streamers, birthday hats, and other small novelties at a dollar store.    I took a small recorder and asked three other people in my area at work to sing Happy Birthday and send some birthday wishes ... Read Full Story >>

Cereal For the Soul

A sweet and charming little old lady came up to me at the supermarket about 5 months ago.  She had strict orders from her doctor to avoid artificial ingredients, but she couldn't read the ingredients on the cereal box and was asking me for some help. "No problem," I instantly said.   I picked up the box and indeed, it's a shame that the print was so small that even I had to struggle to read it.  It turned out that it did have artificial ingredients.  With a slightly dejected face, she explained, "I'm struggling to have a decent breakfast in the mornings, because although I love porridge, I don't have enough energy to make it myself.  So I need to find something instant that doesn't have artificial ingredients." Just then, I had an idea.  "Well, I make my own muesli out of natural products and if you could give me you address, I ... Read Full Story >>

One Candle at a Time

I've got this friend, Rachel. She's a bit older than me, with a sort of shy, but radiant smile. She's usually tan, as she loves the outdoors and spends as much time outside as possible. No matter the weather. In the winter, she'll often go for walks outside. In the summer, she'll sit in public parks strumming her guitar, reading, or napping on the grass.  She has the leisure to do these things because, suffering from multiple psychological traumas, she is unable to work. Well, unable to work in a "normal" workplace, that is. Because she does work. Her vocation is 'making' candles. She buys ready-made candles, usually the slightly translucent kind where the body of the candle will radiate the light, too. Then she puts designs on them by hand, working for hours at a time in her kitchen. She literally makes hundreds--if not a thousand--of these in a year. And then, ... Read Full Story >>

Encounter with an Albino Blind Man

Strolling down the streets of New York can be jarring reflection about the state of humanity -- a business man in suit and tie tries to optimize his time by walking and reading newspapers at the time, a thirty-something waitress zips by with her restaurant apron half off and is intently looking at that handheld blackberry; a high school girl is on her cell phone cussing at someone in her Brooklyn accent. Trying to catch my subway train to Penn Station, I felt the New York Minute rush also. Until I notice an albino man ahead of me, walking very purposefully, taking very small, slow, intentional steps. He was blind. For every step he took, he would swing his stick couple of times to get the lay of the land in front of him. I passed him in no time, like everyone else. But then, ... Read Full Story >>

From Suicidal To Motivational

A very wonderful thing happened on my radio show! A young man who had called the show a week before was sitting across from me in the studio telling listeners not to give up!    This was particularly moving since he had call me on air to say he was about to kill himself.   The very day he called my wife and I went to see him after he had promised me on air not to commit suicide. We invited him into the car and offered him some donuts which he took with trembling hands. He was hungry, penniless, frustrated and hurt. Just last November his mother had been gunned down in a drive-by shooting. He had just finished talking with her on the phone when it happened.   On the day he called the show he had turned the radio down so it would not distract him from cutting his wrists. As he was about ... Read Full Story >>

The "Take What You Need" Sheet

Last week I made a tear-away sheet for the staff at my school. I secretly hung it up for teachers to take what they need by way of the tear-off slips - strength, courage, patience, understanding, etc.
 
The principal asked for digital copy and shared it with the other principals in the county!
 
Today I was at my daughter's weekly softball practice. There was the  usual questioning of what kindness acts I had done during the week since I'd last seen them. Then one of the moms said she had thought of me earlier when she was at her daughter's school. Walking by the teachers' lounge she had noticed a tear-off sheet just like I had described to her. She was excited to see that two "needs" had been torn off and she couldn't wait to share that with me.
 
A perfect example of the "ripple effect." From me to my colleagues, from my school to another school, to unknown teachers who may then share the kindness with others because of what they've taken from the sheet to make it a good day.  
 
Yeah! 

A Priceless Smile From An Old Lady

I was at a busy traffic junction waiting to walk over to the other side when the green lights come on.  There was a family, a man, his wife and an elderly lady, waiting to cross with me. Both the man and his wife were chatting endlessly while the elderly lady was engrossed in staring at a banner with a picture of a child and a mother, which brought tears to her eyes.  Then, the lights finally turned green and all of us rushed to cross the road.  The signal was very short, so the lights changed to red in no time.  I noticed that both the man and his wife had crossed along with me and the elderly lady was left behind.  She seemed to panic as the other two had already crossed and were continuing on without looking back.  I quickly realized what was happening and signaled the ... Read Full Story >>

A Smile Card Class On The El Train

Yesterday evening I was on the EL train in Chicago. Two men in their early twenties got on and one took the seat next to me. His friend was going to sit in another set of seats. I got up and said, "Oh, here. Take my seat so you can sit with your friend."  When I sat down he said to his friend, "She deserves a hospitality award."    I smiled, turned around and said, "Thank you, but not necessary." To which he replied, "It was cool a thing to do." He seemed so delighted by what to me seemed a rather small gesture.    I sat quietly for a minute and then had a 'BING!" moment. I reached in my wallet and pulled out a Smile card. I turned towards the young man and said, "Here, please pay it forward." He took the card. I turned to face forward in my seat and behind ... Read Full Story >>

True Compassion in the Midst of Fear

Instead of being a day I would like to forget as soon as possible, somehow, today became a day where I experienced the most incredible gesture of compassion that I’m pretty sure I’m going to want to remember for a long time... I live in London and I was on my way to visit my cousins in Wales. I was driving on the motorway at around 70 mph when somehow (probably black ice on the road), I lost control of my car. I was involved in a scary collision with a delivery lorry and then a smaller car. The smaller car had a family in it with three young children.   Through some incredible good luck no one was hurt but the experience was very frightening. There was so much smoke that my first thought was to just get out of my car as fast as I could. I could hear the children from the car behind me screaming and ... Read Full Story >>

Buying a Miracle

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes, carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did ... Read Full Story >>

A Lesson In Kindness From My Mom

When I was about twelve, I was headed to a restaurant for dinner with my family. It was winter, and on that particular night, the wind was really blowing. As my mom and I headed towards the restaurant from our car, a girl about my age and her mother came up to us. They asked if we had any spare change. My mom immediately asked where they kept their things. They pointed to an old car in a parking lot across the street. The girl said there were six of them living in that car, which was the same size as my own family. My mom said she had something to do, and after handing the people a few dollars, we said good-bye. Then, my mother sent me inside the restaurant with my dad and my three siblings. But she didn't come. Later, I found out that she had gone home and practically emptied ... Read Full Story >>

Turning Kindness Into A Habit

Last winter I was going through a rough patch in my life.  I had a bunch of terrible things going on around me. I felt very distant and became quite selfish. I hated the way I was feeling and one day I woke up and told myself, “You are above this, stop feeling sorry for yourself.”   Then, I tried out an experiment, and it has DEFINITELY changed me for the better. Every day I would do at least one act of kindness - It could be anything… Bringing the trash down to the trash compactor for my 80 year old neighbor, Going into the store to buy something for myself (like a bit of makeup) and coming out with something for someone else (like candy for my boyfriend) Sitting down with my sister or a friend and just simply listening. And I can ... Read Full Story >>