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How Kindness Changed My Life

During my travels over the weekend I was able to give lots of sincere compliments and do little things to make people happy.  Just little things like helping a lady open a door or complimenting a friend on her lovely voice. 

I had time this weekend to reflect on how different my life is now.  It is so strange to know that all this happiness was there, but I just couldn't see it or reach it.

I was afraid to do nice things for people, I don't know why.  Maybe because I was shy.  I would think of something kind to do, but then talk myself out of it during an internal dialogue in my own mind. 

When I joined this site one of the quesitons I asked was, 'Is it being 'holier than thou' to do the act of kindness or should I do it anyway?'

Many gave me wonderful advice and one person wrote 'to do it, but do it humbly'. 

I really want to thank all of you on this site.

Like The Flowing River!

[ One of my favorite stories from Paulo Coelho’s 'Like the Flowing River', in Copacabana, Rio de Janeiro.]


My wife and I met her on the corner of Rua Constante Ramos in Copacbana.  She was about sixty years old, sitting in a wheelchair, lost in the crowd. My wife offered to help her and the woman accepted the offer, asking us to take her to Rua Santa Clara.

There were a few plastic bags hanging from the back of the wheelchair. On the way, she told us that they contained all her belongings. She slept in shop doorways and lived off handouts.

We reached the place where she wanted to go. Other beggars were gathered there. The woman took out two packets of long-life milk from one of the plastic bags and gave it to the other members of the group.

“People are charitable to me, and so I must be charitable to others,” she said.

Running On Empty

Not so long ago on my half-hour commute to work, I passed by a large white van stopped at the side of the road.  At first, I didn't think too much of the situation as it's not out of the ordinary in this area to see vehicles temporarily abandoned while the owners decide what should be done with them. Inside the van was a girl looking obviously distressed.  She sat in the passenger seat with her eyes fixated forward, ignoring everything.  Up ahead I noticed the only thing she could have been looking at -- about 300 feet up the road was a fellow about my age walking towards town with a red plastic gas can in his hands. Within a split second, I realized that he had run out of gas and was trying to fill it up.  While the drive to the nearest gas station was only about 5-10 minutes, ... Read Full Story >>

Welcoming a New Teacher with Kindness

Today we had a new teacher join us. Sadly, the previous teacher has left on a mental health leave. As a seasoned teacher(I like that better than old), I forget how scared new beginnings can be.

This morning I left a flower, stickers for the kids and a small note saying "Stay calm and have a great first day" on her desk. Throughout the day I checked in on her and offered to help her any way I can (Of course she had a tech question and I had not idea what to do..but I knew people who did).

It is a lovely feeling to mentor someone and share some wisdom. Looking forward to helping this new teacher in any way I can!
 

Power In Simplicity

DAY 2 Interestingly enough, I experienced two realizations today during Day 2 of the Kindness Challenge. I would like to share them here. #1 I noticed that when I began my day and remembered that I needed to complete my challenge, I thought: "I have to engage in a kindness act today."  Immediately I noticed how my body tightened up  when thinking about it, particularly the "have" part of it. In my past, generosity and kindness were just a way of being, and not a requirement, so now that it's required for me to log in and then complete a Kindness act, I resented it. Then, I realized that I didn't "have" to do anything, all I "have" to do was just be me, then Kindness flowed. #2 As I was trying to figure out and plan which act of kindness I was going to perform, I realized that I was looking for bigger actions.  Then ... Read Full Story >>

A Paralyzed Body But A Powerful Heart

Last weekend, I was traveling home from Bangalore. There was a distinct lack of buses, so I thought I would escape the crowd and go for a refreshment. I decided to go to a hotel near the bus stand. I met a man there who was paralyzed and I thought to offer him some food. He spoke to me in English and started explaining his past life when he was healthy.   He had worked in Dubai for five years. Then an accident left him paralyzed. Now his family was taken care of by his sister.   While listening to his past I realized that he had experienced much in his life and learnt many lessons.   Eventually I told him that he may have been physically paralyzed but his heart and spirit were wonderful and he could always depend on them.   His eyes filled in with tears, I offered him some money and then I took him ... Read Full Story >>

Faith renewed by a stranger's kindness

I was on my way home when a man came up to me excited, yelling: "Gil! Gil Gadson!" I said "yes," to which he grabbed me in a bear hug. He stepped back and saw the look of confusion on my face. He proceeded to explain how he knew me. You see, I work in the field of mental health and substance abuse and often speak at different venues. He said that at one such venue, I had given a speech about the power of gratitude and that it had changed his life. He said we had even talked for awhile after my speech and that my words had made him re-evaluate everything in his life. He continued by sharing that he started appreciating the things he had, stopped feeling sorry for himself and had become pro-active in his life and for others. He expressed that he had made amends to those ... Read Full Story >>

Beautiful Outfit Beautiful Smile

I was out shopping earlier today. 

On my way out of one store I noticed this rather large women sitting on a bench waiting. She was dressed in a brightly colored long dress and had pretty shoes too. Sometimes I think people overlook larger sized women but I am always looking to compliment. So, that's what I did!

As I passed by I smiled widely and said, "I love your outfit! You look very pretty in it." 

She gave me the biggest smile in return and said, "Thank You."  

I knew right then I made a difference in her day! 

Pennies For A Loving Cause

I am collecting pennies at work for a co-worker. He doesn't know I'm doing this. 

A Question to A Four Year Old

During dinner, we had a 'small talk conversation' when we asked our 4-year-old Lola:  "Lola, who do you love the most?  Mum, Dad, or someone else?"

She promptly replied, "I don't want to make a choice.   I love everybody! Sometimes people do things I do not like, but I like them still."

I'm usually the one to respond very quickly, but I was speechless after this major lesson.

Sometimes there is a great teacher, an avatar, very near me but when I'm not really paying attention, I miss the opportunity for a very precious lesson.

Pumping Gas For An Old Lady

Not a really stupendous story, but I was really jazzed after this small act.

I'd stopped to fill up the gas tank on my pickup and noticed an older lady (in her 80s) in the next lane. She was walking with one of the canes with outriggers and seemed to be having a problem getting around.

I watched for a bit, not wanting to insult her if she was making it. I finally asked her if I could help. Got a look like, "I don't know you." Then I asked if I could carry something in to the attendant for her. She considered this for a moment and handed me $30.00 to take in.

I did, and then pumped the gas for her.

It turns out that this woman, with the prettiest brown eyes, had hurt her knee, and was trying to get to her doctor.   I'm glad I was able to lend a hand.

Teenager Fills a Neighbor's Empty Cupboards

When I was 13 years old I used to babysit for the lady next door. Every 2 weeks she would pay me $80. I always looked forward to getting paid so I could go to the mall with my friends on Saturday and spend my money that took me two weeks to earn. One Friday evening I heard my Mom on the phone with our neighbor  and I heard her say a few times, "Oh that is horrible,"  After my Mom got off the phone I asked what was wrong. She said that the neighbors had no food in their house and the she didn't know what she was gonna feed her daughter.  Her husband had spent their money on beer and got angry after he came home because his wife asked for money to buy groceries.  He began to pull dishes out of the cupboards and threw them at the wall. So, on top of not having any groceries, ... Read Full Story >>

Surrending My Want To Another's Need

I had been feeling a bit blue and alone, so I thought I'd treat myself to something I wanted.  I went to the grocery store to pick up some items I needed to make some chili bean soup. I had a hankering for it and felt like I'd treat myself to something I wanted. I could almost taste the soup.  I had the beans the onions, the ground beef, my mouth was watering. Then out of nowhere a thought of my sister came to mind. We had spoken via email just the day before. She told me that she and my 13-month-old nephew had been battling a virus all week and feeling pretty tired. As I thought of this, I  thought that I should bring something over for dinner.  She loves my Mexican meatball soup (Albondigas), but I wanted Chili soup, and so the battle within began. I already had everything for ... Read Full Story >>

Just With A Hug

There is a young girl that works in my office who has had a lot of tragedy in her life lately.  While I have a hard time relating to her life style, it hasn't been hard for me to detect her sadness lately.  Today, I offered her a hug and she accepted with open arms...I think I needed it to, because we stood there and embraced for a while.  She cried and I listened...it's amazing how much tears can release from ones body and how much another can learn from those tears.  She thanked me and walked away.  About an 1/2 hour later, she stood up from her desk and looked at me and asked for another hug, and I most definitely was happy to provide it.    Don't ever underestimate the effects that a hug or smile can have on another person. I will hold her deep in thoughts tonight, ... Read Full Story >>

A Message That Arrived 4 Years Later, Right On Time

My teenage daughter has always taken special delight in receiving anything in the mail. She squeals with glee and rips open every envelope and package the moment she takes it in her hands. A few nights ago, when we were sorting through a basket of cards and stationery, she discovered an unopened, brightly colored envelope addressed to her, bearing a postage date of over four years ago. "What is this?" she asked, incredulous. "How did I miss this? How did it get here?" I had idea and was just as curious to see what it could have been. She opened it up and inside was a beautiful greeting card and hand-written note from a school administrator at her former middle school. The woman had written a note to my daughter in praise of how much progress she had shown with her struggle in math class, and it noted how proud she was and how much my daughter should take pride in what she ... Read Full Story >>

Dining with Mr. Yepp, a Smiling Face in the Cafeteria

I was a freshman in college when I met Mr. Yepp. He was friendly and smiled a lot. He was almost always standing by the cashier that checked us into the university cafeteria, and I would run into Mr. Yepp during three of my daily meals. However, as the years past, I became annoyed by him. He would stand there and shake every person’s hand that came through the cafeteria. This was a problem for me because I did not want to offend him by refusing his handshake; however, I did not want to shake hands with him before coming into the cafeteria to eat because he was shaking every single person’s hand, and I had sanitary concerns. When we had the swine flu outbreak at the university, I started to avoid him by going through the back door. I am out of college now, work full-time, and Mr. Yepp is still ... Read Full Story >>

Kindness Doesn't Stop Even At Age 80!

I'm part of a social action group of eight inspiring women (men didn't want to join our group!) and we are looking at a response to homeless women in our city. At present men are catered for in a very small way. We met with an 86 yr old woman, who was asked by the Police to accommodate a single homeless woman, and there was nothing suitable for her.

We have Women's Refuge, but they only accept women with children. This 86 yr old woman now runs a home with 6 beds for single women in need. How amazing is that? Her message to us was "One person CAN make a difference"

Learning From A Co-Workers Compassion To A Plant

I have a plant that sits on my desk.  Yesterday, the two ladies that clean the office came in right before I was leaving and looked at me with with angry eyes. They do not speak English and I do not speak Spanish, but I practice with them every chance that I get so I’m getting a lot better at understanding and communicating with them. With the plant in her hands, she looked at me and asked me why I had not watered the plant since it was wilting. Ironically, I was holding a bottle of drinking water in my hand taking a sip as she was saying that. S he said a few words in Spanish that completely flew over my head so I asked the other lady to translate. She said, “You drink water all the time but you neglect to water the plant! She left the office with the ... Read Full Story >>

The Long Life of a Short Friendship

My son's day care provider experienced a tragic sudden death of a friend. She had just met this fellow and had sensed a deep connection before dropping him off at his car. He had a car accident that night, and was killed. Deeply moved by the sadness that my friend was experiencing, I was compelled to write her some comforting words about being able to see the positives of how her friend had influenced her life and suggested that he possibly came to her as an angel of change for her life. This trajedy, impacted her deeply and encouraged her to reevaluate her life, as tragedy often does. I encouraged her to look past the normal conditionings that would have us concentrate on the drama of a trajedy and suggested she instead reflect on the positive message this friend's life gave her and the people around her. This approach would ... Read Full Story >>

World Kindness Week Day 3- A 100 Days Of Kindness

Yesterday I made a decision to do an act of kindness every day for 100 days and write it on a chart.  It can be something really small.  No sooner had I made my decision than an opportunity came along.

I saw a little girl lose the ribbon from her hair.  He mum didn't notice.  I ran over, picked it up and went running after them.  I gave the mum the ribbon and she gave me something - a lovely smile.

I think it will be fun looking for opportunities to be kind.